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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29307651">love through an eternity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/withinyourselfinstead/pseuds/withinyourselfinstead'>withinyourselfinstead</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Dokkebi Byeongkwan, Grim Reaper Donghun, Human Junhee, Human Yuchan, Lost Love, M/M, Marijuana, Red String of Fate, Reincarnation, Tobacco use, Witch Sehyoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:14:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29307651</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/withinyourselfinstead/pseuds/withinyourselfinstead</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Red thread binds five different souls through their deaths in one life and their rebirths in the next. Reminded of the love that he had lost more than a thousand years ago, Yuchan sets out to rectify his past mistakes. Donghun, Sehyoon, and Byeongkwan do everything they can to ensure that he doesn't die trying - again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Yuchan | Chan/Park Junhee | Jun, Kim Byeongkwan/Kim Sehyoon | Wow</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. pale as death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuchan marveled at the flurrying snow around him, which was quickly covering his body in powdery layers now that he could no longer move. The cold that had been leaching through the thick layers of his hanbok had finally reached his core, his bones, his heart. It didn’t hurt anymore.</p><p>He had failed what he had come to do, but the lonely death he would suffer, buried alive in frost in the dead of night, was befitting of him. This idea of reparation slowly shut his eyes closed, snow tickling his lashes before sealing the lids shut, too.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---</p>
</div>The reaper stood at the foot of the small, human-shaped mound in the snow, the hem of his black baji already slightly buried by the unrelenting snowfall. After considering for a moment, he reached his hand out in a particular direction, as if attempting to grasp at something. He then drew his fingers tightly into a fist and pulled.<p>The pale torso of a boy appeared out of thin air, followed by the rest of his body. He made a deep imprint in the snow as he landed and his momentum came to a sudden stop, though he managed not to fall on all fours at the feet of the reaper that had summoned him.</p><p>He gave a huff, his voice unnaturally low despite his small frame and boyish features. His eyes resembled that of a fox or cat, slanted and glowing eerily in the dark. Despite the cold, he wore no coat and his jeogori was left untied, revealing skin as white as the snow falling around them, and linen bandages dyed red criss-crossed his naked abdomen.</p><p>“Lord Donghun! What gives?” the sprite asked the foreboding figure, his tone making the other’s title sound mocking.</p><p>Donghun did not say anything back, did not even look at him - though the other couldn’t be totally sure for the long strips of black fabric that hung from Donghun’s gat, obscuring most of his face.</p><p>“Look, Byeongkwan.” Donghun tipped his head ever so slightly forward, and Byeongkwan turned to face what he had been looking at.</p><p>“Oh, someone’s under there,” Byeongkwan remarked, simply.</p><p>“Yes. Get him out.” Byeongkwan raised his brows and stared incredulously.</p><p>“What? Why? Is he still alive?” Donghun cocked his head to the side at that, letting slip a miniscule display of impatience.</p><p>“This human came to this mountain in search of Sehyoon. He has been walking for days. Just help him, would you?” Byeongkwan perked up at the mention of Sehyoon, and he reluctantly took a step closer.</p><p>“ … Oh, alright, I’ll help. You owe me, though. Dragging me across the mountain … ” He descended into muttering and Donghun rolled his concealed eyes, but Byeongkwan did not delay any further, sinking onto one knee to begin shoveling the human out with thick, red claws.</p><p>Byeongkwan paused as he freed the human’s upper half, the face of a young boy unearthed from the snow, pale as death and beautiful.</p><p>“Are you sure he’s still alive? He’s blue!” Byeongkwan looked back up at Donghun.</p><p>“Did you really just ask me if I’m sure he’s still alive?” Donghun smirked and Byeongkwan stuck his chin out imperiously before resuming his digging.</p><p>“If you don’t hurry up, he <em>will</em> die very soon.” Byeongkwan muttered his assent (and threw in a few insults for good measure), yanking at the top of the human’s ankles from where they were trapped underneath the snow. </p><p>Byeongkwan lifted the seemingly lifeless form onto his shoulder, the movement effortless on his part despite the fact that the human was taller than him. His jeogori threatened to slip off his shoulders as Byeongkwan shifted the weight to a more comfortable position.</p><p>By the time Byeongkwan stood upright, Donghun had disappeared. Byeongkwan cursed loudly, though the noise was quickly swallowed up by the snow. He readjusted his grip on the human slightly before bringing one clawed hand to run along the brim of a wide, imaginary hat atop his head.</p><p>The brim and the hat it belonged to materialized into existence, an enormous tent of red and white that occluded the width of his body. His grip squeezed tighter and he, the human boy, and the hat disappeared.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. just think of fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Byeongkwan appeared in front of a modest stone hut a few moments later, the hat once again invisible. He pulled the thatch door open swiftly, squeezing through the opening. The door swung closed behind him, and Byeongkwan was greeted by the thick, unnatural heat of the interior.</p><p>The cooking fire and lit hearth threw bright, orange light around the single room of the hut, which was impossibly larger from within than out. </p><p>The owner of the hut, Sehyoon, sat at a wooden table, in the middle of quiltwork. He glanced up at Byeongkwan’s arrival, unphased by his sudden intrusion. At the sight of the body Byeongkwan carried on his shoulder though, he stabbed his needle into the patchwork and got up.</p><p>Byeongwkan unceremoniously dropped the human onto the mat in front of the fireplace, laying next to the unconscious form in order to stretch out his own limbs.</p><p>“Who is this?” Sehyoon asked, kneeling over the boy.</p><p>“A human! He was about to die, and Donghun summoned me and had me dig him out of the snow. I would tell you why, but the depressed bastard disappeared.” Sehyoon furrowed his brow at the unexpected tale.</p><p>“That’s interesting. If Donghun intervened, there must be a very good reason.” Byeongkwan hummed, only half-listening as he picked at his nails in the firelight, claws now retracted. Sehyoon began moving over the human, pulling off the layers of his hanbok, damp and stiff with cold.</p><p>“Well, at least we get to hang out.” Byeongkwan looked up from where he lay to find Sehyoon smiling back at him.</p><p>“As if you needed more excuses to visit me.” Byeongkwan giggled. Sehyoon finished disrobing the human, clothes discarded in a pile to the side as he threw the partly-finished quilt from the table over him.</p><p>“What are you going to do? You can save him, right?” Sehyoon considered for a moment before speaking.</p><p>“How long was he buried for?” Byeongkwan shrugged unhelpfully. Sehyoon lifted the quilt slightly to inspect the boy’s fingertips and toes. They were frighteningly pale but lacked the black that indicated real danger to the appendages.</p><p>“I don’t think he’ll need anything past ginseng. Humans aren’t that hard to save. Dokkebi on the other hand … ” Sehyoon trailed off, trading a knowing smile with Byeongkwan as he made his way to a garland hanging from a rafter, picking off its dried herbs. </p><p>“I was once a human,” Byeongkwan remarked offhandedly, and Sehyoon raised an eyebrow. He took his herbs to his mortar and pestle, beginning to grind the ingredients before continuing to speak.</p><p>“I thought you couldn’t remember being one.”</p><p>“Yes, I don’t remember. But whether it’s a human or dokkebi, Yoonie’s capable of anything.” Sehyoon paused at the unexpected and rare compliment before a wide smile slowly spread across his face.</p><p>“Just because I’m a witch doesn’t mean I can do everything, Kwannie. Especially when I don’t have your magic.” He picked up the small bowl and joined Byeongkwan again in front of the fireplace.</p><p>Sehyoon raised the bowl to Byeongkwan’s lips.</p><p>“Just think of fire and blow.” Byeongkwan made an amused noise.</p><p>“Nobody told me dokkebi could breathe fire,” Byeongkwan joked before closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. </p><p>He blew over the pasty mixture in the bowl, his breath heating the mortar until it was almost too hot for Sehyoon to hold. The salve smoked, but Sehyoon paid more attention to how Byeongkwan’s eyes glowed briefly afterwards, a golden red that made his skin shimmer, light visibly pulsating through the veins on his face.</p><p>Sehyoon turned around to hide his expression. He had known Byeongkwan for centuries, but that didn’t mean the little dokkebi didn’t continue to mesmerize him every now and again.</p><p>“Breathing magic is far more useful than breathing fire,” Sehyoon commented quietly, bending over the human.</p><p>He spread the salve on the boy’s chest, his hand steaming as it pressed into his skin. He wiped the paste from his hand before bringing it up to the human’s face.</p><p>Already, the boy’s cheeks had more color to them compared to the face of death he had worn only minutes prior. Sehyoon undid the tie in the boy’s hair, its purpose seemingly only to keep his remarkably long, black hair from his face rather than being a traditional sangtu. </p><p>Lower class, Sehyoon guessed - maybe a guard or servant of a wealthy house considering the sturdy, dyed material of his hanbok. Though, that wouldn’t explain why he kept his hair so long. </p><p>“When do you think he’ll wake up?” Byeongkwan asked, and Sehyoon realized he had been watching him study the boy.</p><p>“Maybe tomorrow morning at the earliest.” Instantly, inhumanly, Byeongkwan was suddenly next to him, pressing his nose into Sehyoon’s neck.</p><p>“Does that mean we have time for something else?” Byeongkwan grinned. Sehyoon did not move away, but he didn’t look at Byeongkwan either.</p><p>“Byeongkwan, we have a guest.”</p><p>“You said he wouldn’t wake up tonight!” Sehyoon laughed, the sound brightening the room. He ruffled his hand in the dokkebi’s hair and moved to look at him.</p><p>“We’ve been together for two hundred years, and we’ll be together forever. Have a little patience,” Sehyoon said, not unkindly. He pressed a small kiss to Byeongkwan’s cheek.</p><p>“Also, it hasn’t been that long. I’m still sore - ” Byeongkwan made a noise of impatient protest, wrapping Sehyoon in a tight hug that had the witch laughing again. Byeongkwan relented though, and did not press the issue further.</p><p>“Come, there’s tea.” Sehyoon stood, his smaller companion still clinging to him.</p><p>“I’m already warm.”</p><p>“Would you rather drink it outside?” </p><p>“No!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. i can't cure madness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sehyoon awoke at dawn, though there was no indication it was such - clouds still covered the sky following last night’s snowstorm, the world still pitch black through the wooden jalousie. The fireplace flickered a low light and lingering warmth around the room, the logs now smouldering.</p><p>Byeongkwan was curled up against the wall, facing Sehyoon. He looked especially small with sleep softening his usually devilish features, unconsciously hugging himself once Sehyoon had extricated himself from his grasp. He smiled, giving the dokkebi a kiss to the forehead.</p><p>He picked up his clothes from where they lay bunched on the floor, Byeongkwan’s insistent hands having pulled the black fabric off of him before they went to bed, and dressed. The fabric shimmered, as if studded with jewels, though nothing was woven into it.</p><p>After throwing a few more logs into the fire, Sehyoon gathered up the human’s hanbok, slipped on boots, and walked outside. The cold was cold, the night blinding, but his close companionship with Byeongkwan after many years had made his senses impervious to certain things, like the cold and intolerable darkness. </p><p>Sehyoon didn’t consider himself inherently magical (just extraordinarily long-lived for a human), but magic could cling to him in ways that indicated it favored him more than it would a normal human being. He made his way to the side of the hut where he kept his water stores to wash the human boy’s hanbok, could see with his gifted eyes in the dark that blood had stained the hem of the sleeves. </p><p>He scrubbed away, the red moreso willed out of the fabric than washed out, before Sehyoon wrung the water out of the clothes and returned inside. </p><p>He found Byeongkwan shirtless, crouched over the human with alarmed and watchful eyes, the boy writhing on the ground as if wrestling with something invisible. He cried, indicating his struggle, his face clearly pained. </p><p>Sehyoon discarded the hanbok, joining Byeongkwan to peer at the human. He went to grab a cloth and began mopping the sweat already drenching the boy’s face.</p><p>“Is it a nightmare? Can you help him?” Byeongkwan asked solemnly.</p><p>“I can’t cure madness,” Sehyoon said simply. </p><p>The boy did not wake up that morning. The other two spent the rest of the day quietly and intently, Sehyoon preparing solutions for fever and sustenance that they had finally gotten down the human’s throat after some effort, Byeongkwan propping him up while Sehyoon stuck a finger between the human’s teeth, the boy’s jaw clenched by fear.</p><p>Sehyoon had finally hung up the human’s hanbok to dry, attending to other chores around the house and checking on the boy’s condition every so often. He had clearly, briefly worsened since his arrival, but seemed to now be stable. The nightmares had also seemed to subside, though the human still did not stir, his face an expression of exhaustion and deep sleep.</p><p>Byeongkwan left to hunt, quickly returning with dead rabbits and vegetables from the garden, which had continued to grow and thrive despite it being winter (whether that was due to Byeongkwan’s or Sehyoon’s touch, they did not know). He skinned the meat with his claws, stopping himself from eating the raw flesh in front of Sehyoon, who he knew would want to cook it so they could enjoy it together.</p><p>Byeongkwan went ahead and started the stew himself in the pot over the fire, Sehyoon preoccupied with studying scrolls he had dug up regarding human herbal medicine - remedies for both the body and spirit. It was only an hour later, when Byeongkwan brandished a bowl in front of his face, that Sehyoon paused in his readings.</p><p>They suppered like that at the table, Sehyoon still poring over the writings. It wasn’t long before the dokkebi grew restless and Sehyoon had to shoo him away from the sleeping human after he had turned around to find Byeongkwan sniffing at him.</p><p>“He smells like death,” Byeongkwan remarked with a scowl.</p><p>“I don’t suppose that’s surprising … he was probably running away from it.”</p><p>“Oh! I just remembered! Donghun said the human came to this mountain looking for you, days ago.” Sehyoon froze.</p><p>“Why would a human look for you? Do you think they still tell stories about you?” Sehyoon seemed to consider this before looking up. He did not know exactly what the humans had been spreading about him these days, but he could only imagine the type of desperation that would compel someone to traverse the mountain he lived on in the middle of winter.</p><p>“Maybe.” More silence passed between them before Byeongkwan shrugged noncommittally. </p><p>“I guess we’ll find out soon enough. I’ll be back in a bit.” Sehyoon stood up, Byeongkwan’s farewell pulling him out of his reverie.</p><p>“Ah, okay. Don’t cause any trouble.” Byeongkwan smirked before pulling on the brim of his hat and disappearing.</p><p>Sehyoon was all-too familiar with Byeongkwan’s inability to stay still, the dokkebi always off hunting, chasing, playing, eavesdropping - though Sehyoon rarely knew where, with whom, or to what end. There was no telling when he would appear again, though Sehyoon thought he wouldn’t be gone long, Byeongkwan’s curiosity about the human guaranteeing his quick return. </p><p>Sehyoon turned back to the table to gather his scrolls, only for a cold burst of wind to pass through the room, throwing some of them onto the floor. He cursed, the room suddenly freezing, and the fire went out behind him.</p><p>He turned into the now-dark room to find Donghun standing over the human. Sehyoon gave a polite nod of his head, trying not to shiver in the unnatural coldness that flowed from the reaper. It wasn’t often that he made an entrance in the middle of Sehyoon’s own home.</p><p>“Lord Donghun.”</p><p>“He will wake soon,” Donghun stated, his voice muffled and resonant, as if he was speaking through water. It was in these moments, in spaces that warmth and light had occupied only moments prior, could one see how much death clung to Donghun. It made Sehyoon feel a little sick.</p><p>“Could you explain to me what’s going on?” Sehyoon asked, trying to keep his voice steady through the cold and nausea. Donghun paused, and Sehyoon wondered if he was just going to ignore him. It wouldn’t have been the first time.</p><p>“I think it’s best to let the human explain. Let him wake. You will know where to find me afterwards.” Sehyoon furrowed his brow at the cryptic answer.</p><p>“Wha - ” Sehyoon was forced to shield his eyes as another gust of wind blew through the room and Donghun disappeared, the fire sparking back to life. Sehyoon made a noise of frustration.</p><p>Not for the first time, he cursed that these were his only two friends.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. i have a bad feeling about this</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warnings for violence, character death, and necromancy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Open your eyes.”</p><p>Yuchan’s eyelids slipped open, as if waking for the first time in his life. It was long moments before his sight could focus and adjust to the orange glow of the room enough to make out the two faces looming over him.</p><p>The soft face of a man in shimmery, black hanbok materialized over him, his eyes warm. Another sat next to him, his eyes cat-like and glowing, his skin unnaturally pale, and Yuchan wondered if this was supposed to be death. He attempted to make a noise, his voice cracking and dying in his throat. </p><p>The arms of the man who was closer pulled him to sit upright, the movement making him dizzy.</p><p>The man holding him up muttered something to his companion, who reached for a cup. Neither of them seemed to possess the voice that had roused Yuchan only moments ago. He brought the tea cup up to Yuchan’s lips, and he attempted to move away, self-preservation unfiltered.  The arm around him steadied him.</p><p>“It’s okay. It’s just tea.” The hand at his face persisted, and Yuchan opened his mouth, the hot liquid quickly warming his chest. He whined again, and the hand withdrew.</p><p>Safe. Warm. Alive. As his consciousness stirred into wakefulness, Yuchan’s memories came to him like the sudden realization of a distant dream, urgent in wanting to be remembered. Blood. Snow. Emptiness.</p><p>“Please … help me. I need … to find the witch … Sehyoon.” Yuchan dropped suddenly, the man holding him jolting upright, and he groaned. The man muttered a quick apology, exchanging a glance with his pale companion.</p><p>“I’m Sehyoon.” Yuchan’s eyes widened, something other than the tea flaring in his chest and waking him up fully. This was not only his savior but the very person he had been seeking with every fiber of his being.</p><p>“What?” He pressed his hands down to the floor mat in an attempt to lift himself up, the ache in his disused muscles stiffening his every movement. Sehyoon’s hands came back around him to help him up and Yuchan’s long, untied hair draped around his cheeks. </p><p>“Please, please, you have to help me. Please … ” </p><p>“What is your name, boy?” the pale one asked. </p><p>“My name is Kang Yuchan. My lord, Park Junhee … is dead. It’s all my fault. Please, I need your help. You are my only hope.” Sehyoon’s companion leaned forward, his face inhuman and leering.</p><p>“Sehyoon can’t bring back the dead.”</p><p>“Byeongkwan.” Sehyoon raised a hand and turned slightly, and Byeongkwan fell silent.</p><p>“What happened?” Sehyon gently prompted.</p><p>“We were ambushed. And I knew it was coming. But I couldn’t convince my lord to - ” Yuchan’s voice broke, and he attempted to stifle his tears. Sehyoon gestured for Byeongkwan to give him another sip of tea, but Yuchan refused.</p><p>“No, I’m okay. It has been my family’s duty to protect Lord Junhees’ for the last thousand years. I am the only one to fail. Please … ” The flood of tears finally began to fall.</p><p>“Where was this?” </p><p>“ … We were traveling through Arirang Pass. I bur .... buried him in the snow.” The witch and Byeongkwan exchanged looks again. The mountain pass was a death trap, the surrounding terrain treacherous, especially during winter. </p><p>Not only was it dangerous territory for any human, but the place was heavily haunted by the gwisin of those who had perished there, further attracting all manner of spirits and monsters.</p><p>“Lord Junhee - he was trying to meet with another feudal lord that had been raiding his lands. I knew it was a setup, that they wanted him dead, but he wouldn’t listen to me. My master said he would rather die with dignity than be bullied into hiding at home.” Yuchan sobbed, his voice breaking momentarily as he relayed his heartache. </p><p>“I did everything I could, but it was not enough. We were outnumbered … ” Yuchan’s voice faltered again, the loss replaying in his mind. “It started to snow - I had no choice but to leave him there. The only thing I could remember in that moment was a tale I heard as a child. When all else has failed, look for the witch Sehyoon in the mountains of Arirang. He will help those most in need.”</p><p>Sehyoon lowered his head, shock and shame running through him with equal measure.</p><p>“Please, I have walked for three days. It must be fate that I have found you, right? Please, help me. I don’t have anything to my name anymore, but I am willing to do anything … ” Yuchan’s eyes were wide and pleading, looking between the two.</p><p>“Yuchan … Byeongkwan brought you here three days ago.” Yuchan’s breathing halted before he grabbed Sehyoon’s collar, the movement wild and desperate, the look in his eyes suddenly crazed. </p><p>Byeongkwan grabbed at Yuchan’s hands, prying them from Sehyoon’s front and pulling him forward halfway into his lap.</p><p>“Watch yourself, boy,” Byeongkwan seethed, but Yuchan did not register his quick fury.</p><p>“It’s been … six days?” Yuchan began to tremble uncontrollably. </p><p>“It’s okay, it’s okay … ” Sehyoon said placatingly, his hands coming up to take Yuchans’, Byeongkwan shifting away again sullenly.</p><p>“Yuchan. We will try to help you. But it might be too late. Do not expect anything,” Sehyoon said carefully, his face inches away from the young boy’s, their hands gripping each other tightly.</p><p>Yuchan quaked for a few moments, searching Sehyoon’s eyes. He nodded.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Byeongkwan huffed, his arm coming to grab Sehyoon’s shoulder roughly. He pinched the air above him, as if grabbing a hat, before he disappeared along with Sehyoon.</p><p>Yuchan’s hands suddenly grasped at nothing and he yelped with shock. He looked around, finding nothing else in the room to indicate what had just happened. He brought his hands to his face and hung his head, fighting his encroaching hysteria.</p><p>Sehyoon looked down at him pitifully from where he now stood with Byeongkwan, in front of Yuchan and unseen. Byeongkwan’s red hat was on, his arm possessively wrapped around Sehyoon’s shoulder, keeping him under its brim.</p><p>“What are you thinking?” Byeongkwan asked, tone sharp and demanding.</p><p>“Donghun wouldn’t have had you save Yuchan if it wasn’t for good reason. There is something he knows that we don’t. I think we need to help him.”</p><p>“No, what we need to do is find Donghun.” Sehyoon shook his head.</p><p>“When have we ever been able to call on him? And, if he hasn’t told us already, he won’t tell us now. I think, if we want answers, we need to go to Arirang Pass.” It took everything Sehyoon had to meet Byeongkwan’s gaze, to conjure the fake confidence in order to do so.</p><p>“Sehyoon. I’m scared of that place,” Byeongkwan said with a solemnity and honesty so uncharacteristic of him, Sehyoon fought back a whimper.</p><p>“I’m scared, too.” He did not add anything else.</p><p>“What are you even going to do when we get there? You can’t bring back someone who is six days dead ... Right?” Sehyoon swallowed.</p><p>“I … I don’t know. Yuchan and his lord seem to have a strong connection. And, if Donghun has already intervened … this Park Junhee might not actually be dead.” Byeongkwan gave him a look, both terrified and curious.</p><p>“Donghun came to visit while you were away on the first day.” The dokkebi startled, a dark look crossing his face at the idea that Donghun continued to come and go as he pleased.</p><p>“He says we would know where to find him. He must have meant Arirang Pass.” Byeongkwan scowled, muttering curses under his breath.</p><p>“I have a bad feeling about this.” He released Sehyoon from his hold to reach up and squeeze the brim of his hat before Sehyoon could agree with him.</p><p>Yuchan startled again with their sudden reappearance, giving another yelp. Sehyoon felt a heavy sorrow for the boy.</p><p>“Yuchan, listen carefully. We must go to the pass tonight.” Yuchan’s eyes widened with surprise, before he nodded stiffly.</p><p>“Wait, we need to bring him?” Byeongkwan asked, the atmosphere in his corner of the room quickly becoming heavy and domineering.</p><p>“I don’t know what we’ll find when we get there. It will be dangerous, but we might need you to locate where you buried Junhee and help us,” Sehyoon said. Yuchan’s words failed him at the thought of going back to that battleground.</p><p>“You must stay close to us. There will be … I don’t know what there will be, but we must leave before it gets too dark.” Sehyoon made his way to a low chest of drawers on one side of the room.</p><p>“Yuchan, drink the tea, it will help to loosen your muscles,” Sehyoon said, continuing to gather materials in the pockets of his clothes. Yuchan obeyed, finishing his teacup, the liquid still almost scalding despite having sat untouched for minutes. </p><p>The heat from the tea buzzed unnaturally through his veins down to his fingertips, like liquor. He briefly considered if it was for how quickly he was roused after six days of unconsciousness. </p><p>Sehyoon removed a bundle of small leaflets of paper, scattering them on the table. From the same drawer, he also took a small inkpot. A husky, overbearing scent filled the room as Sehyoon used a paintbrush to draw the necessary symbols with the pork’s blood, copying them down again for each individual leaflet.</p><p>Byeongkwan felt his stomach turn with the memory of the last time Sehyoon was forced to use talisman, beckoning Byeongkwan’s spirit back following a ruthless possession. </p><p>He had fallen into a demonic trap some decades ago and it had taken Sehyoon seven sleepless nights chanting next to Byeongkwan’s body - which he had wrapped in talisman, bundles of sage and lavender, and blankets that smelled like the both of them - to bring him back. Donghun was blind to the type of magic that stole souls, and could not help. </p><p>It had taken Byeongkwan <em>years</em> to feel like himself again; Sehyoon, on the other hand, had never been the same since.</p><p>Yuchan had grabbed his hanbok from where it was folded neatly next to him, clothing himself quickly before tying his hair back up in a loose knot that kept his hair shoulder-length instead of cascading down his back.</p><p>“Sir?” It took a moment for Byeongkwan to realize Yuchan was addressing him, Sehyoon absorbed in his painting. The human’s expression was nervous, but not as exhausted and terrified as it had been only minutes ago.</p><p>“Do you have a sword I can use?” Byeongkwan bit a retort back. He doubted what this young boy could do in a fight, but there was no telling what they would find at the pass, and he supposed it was better he was armed than not.</p><p>Byeongkwan opened one of the wardrobes, searching for the few weapons Sehyoon owned, a few dating back to the time when they had first met. He reached for one that he himself had stashed away a few months ago, fresh from the aftermath of a battle no other monsters had discovered yet. It was plain, the scabbard unadorned, but it was light and the blade sharp.</p><p>Byeongkwan handed it to Yuchan, the boy bowing and fitting the scabbard through the belt of his overcoat. The dokkebi evaluated him with a wary eye.</p><p>Sehyoon made his way over to the both of them, fitting talisman in both of their palms and having them recite a spell of protection before the papers were stuffed into pockets.</p><p>Sehyoon faced Byeongkwan, a worried expression on his face, and Yuchan turned to see what he was looking at. His eyes widened at the hat that had appeared on Byeongkwan’s head, as wide as three men. His misgivings about whether or not Byeongkwan was actually human were quickly confirmed.</p><p>Byeongkwan held a red mask, procured from somewhere within the folds of his hanbok, the thing ugly with protruding fangs and horns. He closed his eyes and brought it up to his face, the porcelain held up by something unseen once Byeongkwan withdrew his hand.</p><p>The eyes of the mask opened and Yuchan’s breath hitched in his throat, the boy trying to keep his balance as he took a step back in mesmerized fear. The horns and fangs grew longer before Yuchan’s eyes, the division between the mask and Byeongkwan’s face no longer apparent. </p><p>Byeongkwan’s form began to grow, a head, two heads taller than Yuchan, before he was suddenly towering over the both of them, the hat tented against the roof of the hut. His skin had taken on a dark, ruddy quality, his muscles now massive.</p><p>Sehyoon offered the boy a small, apologetic smile, as if it might help calm Yuchan’s racing mind and beating heart. He reached his hand out, and Yuchan took it, trying to focus on the reason why he was here, why he was still alive, in an attempt to quiet the inward voice that begged him to run. </p><p>Byeongkwan - or whatever he had become - reached a vaguely human hand towards Sehyoon, horrifyingly sharp claws protruding from each gnarled finger. The hand came to wrap easily around Sehyoon’s waist. In response, Sehyoon tugged at Yuchan’s hand, and he was suddenly hurtling through space.</p><p>A sudden acceleration pulled at Yuchan’s navel, erasing all coherent thought from his mind. He could not scream or open his eyes, even if he wanted to. There didn’t seem to be any movement of wind around his face, but blood roared through his ears, filling his head until he was sure he would pass out.</p><p>They suddenly stopped, and Yuchan involuntarily let go of Sehyoon’s hand, the remaining momentum from the transport forcing him onto his knees. He gasped, spluttering for air, realizing he had been holding his breath while he fought off the urge to retch.</p><p>Sehyoon was about to offer words of comfort or apology, but he hesitated, knowing they could do nothing. Byeongkwan snarled from above them, and Yuchan realized where they were as he attempted to find his footing in the thick snow. Cold wind nipped at his cheeks, the heat of the hut already a distant memory.</p><p>The narrow mountain pass was eerily quiet, the evening sky dark gray and cloudy. Byeongkwan’s mask glowed ominously red, and the air seemed to crackle around him, but it was otherwise silent. Yuchan looked around, the tops of trees barely visible above the snowpack - </p><p>“No … no, no … no! There’s - there’s too much snow!” Yuchan whirled around, attempting to find markers of the ambush that had taken place nearly a week ago. Yes, there was the entrance to the pass, but there was no sign of the carriage, no corpses. The trees that had loomed above him during that fateful journey six days ago stood underneath Yuchan’s feet. He would not be able to recall where he had buried Junhee without them.</p><p>“His body lies here.” A watery, shimmering voice spoke, and Sehyoon and Byeongkwan turned to face Donghun, his figure small, standing on the other side of the pass. The shadows on the surrounding rock faces seemed to darken with Donghun’s presence. That, or they did not have much time left before night truly fell.</p><p>Yuchan continued to stumble back and forth, whirling around in hopes of finding some visual cue of where Junhee might have laid. Sehyoon looked between him and Donghun.</p><p>“He can’t see you?” Donghun’s silence answered for him. Byeongkwan made his way over, his clawed feet sinking deep into the snow. </p><p>“Byeongkwan knows where he is, Yuchan.” Yuchan paused, tears streaming down his face, and he gave a shaky sigh of relief. </p><p>“Stay close.” Sehyoon beckoned, and Yuchan joined him, his feet dragging through the snow to where Byeongkwan had started to dig, shoveling heaps of it to the side. </p><p>It was only a few minutes before he peered into the narrow hole, sniffing. Carefully, Byeongkwan braced himself with one huge arm against the snowbank he had made and reached down into the pit.</p><p>“You must do it here.” Donghun suddenly spoke as Byeongkwan’s head disappeared below the surface, clearly struggling with what he was attempting to dig up.</p><p>“ … What do you mean?” Sehyoon asked, bewildered.</p><p>“Junhee’s spirit still lingers here, but it has been too long and the connection to this world is weak. If you take his body somewhere else, he <em>will</em> pass on,” Donghun said. At the same time, Byeongkwan made a noise of exertion as he lifted himself back up, withdrawing a human form from the bottom of the pit.</p><p>Yuchan wailed at the sight of his former master - and a thousand <em>other</em> voices joined him. The canyon screamed with something horrid and supernatural, the voices of countless dying echoing back and forth through the narrow passageway.</p><p>Yuchan and Sehyoon moved to cover their ears while Byeongkwan jolted upright, searching, depositing Junhee’s limp body onto the snow. Donghun disappeared in a tendril of shadow, and Sehyoon stifled the panic that welled up in him like a flood.</p><p>Byeongkwan disappeared, too, with a press of his hat. The screaming stopped and Yuchan fell forward into the snow, gasping and sobbing.</p><p>“What was that?!” he cried, his voice small in the sudden silence. Sehyoon tried to catch his breath, too, coming closer to pull on Yuchan’s arm, half-dragging him towards Junhee.</p><p>“I don’t know, but we don’t have much time. We must work quickly.” Sehyoon kept pulling until Yuchan lurched onto his feet, his breathing coming out in hysterical sobs. </p><p>They approached Junhee’s corpse and the boy collapsed again, unable to continue. Sehyoon was equally stunned into silence.</p><p>Junhee’s face was white as snow, framed by long strands of blue hair, but the man merely looked like he was asleep. Frost coated his eyelashes, and his face was a picture of perfect calm. Serene. The only thing out of place was the dark brown stain in the side of his hanbok - dried blood from a fatal wound.</p><p>Sehyoon dug into his pockets, suddenly reminded of the absence of Donghun and Byeongkwan and how vulnerable their situation had become. He grabbed the bundle of talisman which he had run through with string to create a long chain. He circumscribed Junhee’s body with the chain before inspecting the scene.</p><p>“We need dirt … ” he said to himself. Yuchan continued to quake uncontrollably from where he knelt in the snow, looking at Junhee with trepidation and limitless sorrow. Sehyoon made his way over to the hole Byeongkwan had dug, praying there would be dirt at the bottom.</p><p>He peered down to find two glowing eyes looking back up at him. They were not Byeongkwan’s.</p><p>Sehyoon stumbled backwards in surprise, landing flat on his back as a shadow jumped out of the pit. It pinned Sehyoon down with talons, its face leering in his, a giant monstrosity of flesh and feathers. <em>Dokkebi</em>.</p><p>Byeongkwan hurtled back into existence, knocking the creature off Sehyoon, its talons almost ripping through Sehyoon’s hanbok. The other dokkebi shrieked, and the two rolled together down the passageway. Yuchan had ducked under his hands, and Sehyoon shot back up.</p><p>With his ability for coherent thought all but lost, Sehyoon jumped into the pit after making sure it was now empty and hurriedly dug at the bottom with blunt fingernails. He stuck his hand deep into the snow after a second, until he felt the texture change, grabbing a fistful of wet dirt. </p><p>He didn’t know what mixture of Byeongkwan’s lingering magic and his own fear coursed through him, but it allowed him to jump more than twice his height out of the hole.</p><p>Sehyoon flung himself back above ground, stumbling towards Junhee’s body. Yuchan remained curled up, the two giant forms battling some distance behind him. The dokkebi’s shrieking was loud in the narrow, rocky corridor. Sehyoon could only hope Byeongkwan was winning and scattered the black earth over Junhee.</p><p>“Yuchan! Give me your hands.” Sehyoon knelt down next to the boy, folding the younger’s hands in his.</p><p>Sehyoon quickly launched into an incantation and Yuchan could only tremble in his grasp, cold terror running through him. He would rather have thrown Sehyoon off of him, plunged into the hole and buried himself alive. The only thing keeping him focused was the sight of Junhee’s face from where he lay behind Sehyoon, as perfect as the last time he had seen it. As perfect as always. </p><p>They continued like this for long minutes, the wind beginning to rustle his hair and the paper chain of talisman. It was now truly night, the clouds broken enough for moonlight to illuminate the sorrowful scene in Arirang Pass. The dokkebi Byeongkwan was fighting had taken flight with feathered, scaly wings, and Byeongkwan had quickly followed, climbing over the lip of the canyon.</p><p>A familiar pull tugged at Yuchan’s navel, and he screwed his eyes shut, reciting old prayers of protection from his childhood. He felt utterly alone, Sehyoon lost in trancelike chanting, the silence around them foreboding and oppressive.</p><p>Sehyoon suddenly ceased his recitation and Yuchan held his breath.</p><p>“Seh … yoon? … ”</p><p>Sehyoon raised his head to look at Yuchan, but the eyes that met his were not the witch’s. Completely white and pupil-less, Yuchan automatically attempted to wrench his hands away, but Sehyoon - now a vessel - held on tightly, baring his teeth.</p><p>“Tell me, boy, what are you doing playing around with your soul?” The voice was Sehyoon’s, but bit coldly,  harshly, echoing unnaturally around the two of them. It continued, Yuchan shocked into silence.</p><p>“Did the witch tell you? That the spell he was casting to save your friend would come at a price? Your soul, to bring your lord back to life.” Yuchan stood up, pulling back in a continued effort to get away from the possessed witch, but the grip on his hands was too strong, the vessel standing up with him, inching closer.</p><p>“I don’t care! I would do anything for - for him … ” Yuchan cried, shying his face away from the frightening sight of the vessel’s white, unseeing eyes.</p><p>“You fool. It would mean you would never be reborn again! You would trade what makes you human so this man could live another few short years? Is that what Lord <em>Junhee</em> would want?”</p><p>At the sound of Junhee’s name, Yuchan wailed and began to kick out.</p><p>“I don’t care! Let go of me! Please … what do you want from me?!” The vessel brandished its teeth again in a too-wide smile.</p><p>“I came to feast. I knew there was something hiding underneath the snow. But now, it looks like there are two more … ” </p><p>The vessel’s hands came up to wring Yuchan’s neck, and Yuchan gasped for breath, his throat constricting in the inhuman strength of the grip.</p><p>He fought the hands at his neck to no avail, black spots peppering his vision. Fighting the growing buzzing in his head, Yuchan remembered the scabbard at his side and pushed his legs back as much as he could to give him room to draw the sword.</p><p>He pulled the sword with his left hand, the angle awkward but just enough to allow him to thrust it sideways into the vessel’s stomach.</p><p>Its eyes widened, his hands letting go of Yuchan, who fell to the ground coughing and gasping for breath, sword forgotten and sunk into the snow next to him. The vessel stumbled backwards towards Junhee and the formation on the ground, blood already beginning to seep from its side and blot the snow with bright red. </p><p>Yuchan looked back up, before lurching forward.</p><p>“NO!” he yelled, voice strained and broken, but it was too late. </p><p>A twisted smile crossed Sehyoon’s face as he - it purposefully tripped and fell backwards, the body collapsing on top of Junhee’s. Blood continued to pour from his side, staining Junhee’s hanbok anew, and Sehyoon blinked, his eyes brown again.</p><p>“No … ” Yuchan moved towards the two, afraid of breaking the circle. He watched with terror as Sehyoon, now truly Sehyoon, looked back at him with remorse.</p><p>He gave a small smile, blood bubbling between his lips and seeping from his mouth. </p><p>And with Sehyoon’s last breath, Junhee began to breathe under him. </p><p>Yuchan scrambled forwards into the circle, all reservation forgotten, and crouched down next to Junhee.</p><p>The body shuddered, but something was wrong, the expression on Junhee’s face contorting into something sick, his arms and head twitching.</p><p>Yuchan could only watch in horror as Junhee’s breathing ceased, too.</p><p>A hoarse cry came from some distance away, the sound matching the one in Yuchan’s heart, and he was suddenly rolling backwards through the snow, thrown by something he hadn’t seen, coming to a skidding stop.</p><p>Byeongkwan’s face appeared over his, his body back to its human size, his legs straddling and entrapping Yuchan as he gripped the boy’s shoulders painfully.</p><p>“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Byeongkwan screamed, his eyes a fiery red, boiling tears dripping from his face and burning Yuchan’s skin. Yuchan could only stare back, all ability for words lost to him.</p><p>The only thing he understood was that Junhee was gone, and with him, Sehyoon.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. this was death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A freezing, falling feeling inside his stomach, and Yuchan felt he was suddenly plunged into a cold pool, though there was no water. He wondered briefly if he had gone blind, and attempted to look around.</p><p>The landscape had disappeared, and it was as if he was floating atop a lake, water rippling around him though he did not feel wet. He could hear Byeongkwan exclaiming to his side, and he turned to look at him. He could not tell where light was coming from, but they were both illuminated dimly in gray.</p><p>Yuchan suddenly realized he was wearing a shirt Junhee had gifted him just a year ago, the material a thin, translucent purple silk. The memory of the moment Junhee had given it to him intruded into his mind, and Yuchan felt happiness for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. </p><p>The shirt had no practical use, it could not be worn in daily life, but it was a luxury and Yuchan had treated it as one of his most prized possessions. He looked down at himself to inspect further, to investigate why he was suddenly wearing different clothes, and found red thread tightly woven around the fifth finger of his left hand, five more threads extending from it.</p><p>Yuchan reeled. The red thread of fate, the stuff of myths and legends, the invisible bond that connected those destined to be together forever. If he was truly seeing this - if he hadn’t already lost his mind or wasn’t in the throes of possession - there could only be one explanation as to why.</p><p>This was death.</p><p>But that didn’t explain why he was here with Byeongkwan, and he turned to seek answers from the dokkebi. What he saw made him gasp.</p><p>The face that looked back at him was that of a teenage boy who could not have been older than Yuchan. His eyes had lost their inhuman glow but were still cat-like, his cheeks ruddy with youth. He wore a red magoja, the fabric rich and luxurious. Two bejeweled clips pushed up two tufts of hair from his head.</p><p>Something told  Yuchan this was what Byeongkwan looked like before he became whatever Yuchan had known him to be. A deep mourning welled up in him.</p><p>Byeongkwan looked at him wordlessly, all fight gone from his face. Yuchan wondered if he knew this was the end, too, or if he was only a manifestation of a memory, a child untouched by trauma, by the relentless passage of time through centuries.</p><p>But, a red thread connected the two, and Yuchan did not know what to make of that. Two disappeared into the depths below his feet, into the black pool that wasn’t wet, wasn’t water.</p><p>“Donghun … please. Please, where is he … ?” Byeongkwan said, and Yuchan startled. His voice seemed to sound both near and far away in the empty space. Yuchan followed the last of the five threads to the foreboding figure that stood a few paces away from them.</p><p>Something in Yuchan screamed to run, but something else, something that was quickly coming to terms with his own death kept him grounded. The grim reaper stood before him with a human form, flowing black hanbok, and an adorned gat that obscured his face.</p><p>It - <em>he</em> began to speak, an ethereal, eternal quality to his voice that felt both calming and foreboding. </p><p>“When Sehyoon spilled his blood on Junhee, his life was traded. Junhee had not passed on yet, would not pass on without Yuchan, but could not accept the life Sehyoon had given him. He could not hold on any longer. It is too late. They are both gone.”</p><p>Byeongkwan let out a guttural moan, and Yuchan could feel Byeongkwan’s grief rip through him, shared between them.</p><p>“Why … why did you have us save Yuchan?! Why didn’t you let him just die with Junhee?!” Byeongkwan demanded, his voice cracking. </p><p>Yuchan’s heart panged with regret, but it suddenly occurred to him.</p><p>“Is it because we are tied together? By … by fate?” Yuchan pulled his left hand, watched as the threads between him, Byeongkwan, and Donghun quivered.</p><p>Donghun gave a nod of his head, the threads of his gat shimmering around him. </p><p>“What’s the point? ... If half of us ended up dead?” Byeongkwan asked, his face hidden in his hands.</p><p>“Maybe it is time we all pass on.” The both of them looked up, eyes wide with surprise. </p><p>Donghun nodded his head towards Byeongkwan.</p><p>“Byeongkwan, you’ve never truly stopped being human. I helped you possess that mask, just like a dokkebi would, so you could continue to live on with Sehyoon. Now, I’ve pulled you into this space, something I’ve never been able to do before with anyone still alive. You have the option to pass on, and I think you should take it.” Donghun’s words rang in Yuchan’s ears, solemn.</p><p>“But, what is this place?” he asked.</p><p>“ … It’s not quite death, and it’s not quite life. This is where I walk to shepherd spirits. Neither of you are dead, but … I think a part of your soul has died. With Sehyoon and Junhee. Which is why I think I can give you the option of following them.”</p><p>“You said that we should all pass on. That includes you? Are you … human?” Yuchan continued, Byeongkwan remaining silent.</p><p>“I was once human, yes. I was given a purpose beyond life. So I’ve stayed in this world and done my job dutifully for a thousand years. But, you all have appeared before me, and fate has tied us together. Maybe my time has come.”</p><p>Byeongkwan’s sobbing slipped through his fingers, and Yuchan’s chest gave another painful throb.</p><p>“What’s going to happen? When we pass on?” Donghun considered Yuchan before using one hand to remove his gat. </p><p>Yuchan gasped at the human face that appeared, untouched by time, eternal. Donghun was dark with a quiet, sad beauty.</p><p>“We will be reborn. We can only hope we will all meet again.” </p><p>“Why would I want to meet either of you again?” Byeongkwan suddenly spoke up, and Yuchan could feel the heat of his grief, lashing at him in the empty space. </p><p>Both Donghun and Yuchan lowered their heads in supplication.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Byeongkwan. It was my fault that he … that Sehyoon died. I did as much as I could to keep the spirits away. I … one slipped past me.” Byeongkwan did not respond, but another pained groan slipped through his hands. </p><p>Donghun looked at him with his sad eyes. Yuchan’s tears began to fall, too.</p><p>“I know we don’t deserve it, but please find it in your heart to forgive. It is best to not die with regret or sorrow and carry it with you into the next life. I don’t know what connects us, or what is supposed to happen in the future, but we can’t fight fate.” </p><p>They stayed like that in silent regard for one another, the threads hovering between them.</p><p>The thread connecting him and Byeongkwan suddenly tugged, and Yuchan could feel it pulling all the way through to his heart, like the tearing of a deep wound. </p><p>Byeongkwan was suddenly gone, sinking below the surface of the pool, the water rippling without splashing.</p><p>Yuchan clutched at his chest, looking up at Donghun with fear and confusion.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“He was ready to move on, and so he did.” At his words, Yuchan squeezed his eyes shut.</p><p>“Donghun. I’m scared. What if I never find any of you again? What if I … what if I can never be forgiven?” Donghun approached him, the black hem of his hanbok coming into view before he stooped down to kneel in front of him. </p><p>His face was so startlingly human, a final comfort on the precipice of death.</p><p>“I’m scared, too. You did your best in this life, and that’s all you can do. I know how much love you have for Junhee. You will find each other again. You can try again.” Donghun took Yuchan’s hand in his, wrapping their connected fingers together.</p><p>The grim reaper, the once-human gave him a small smile and Yuchan felt the glow of his companionship, something warm and utterly alive behind Donghun’s eyes.</p><p>Yuchan smiled through his tears.</p><p>And then, he was sinking.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. open your eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Open your eyes.”</p><p>Yuchan did so, greeting the light that filtered through the surface of the water. He was underneath that surface, but the lack of air was okay. Comfortable even. There was no burn in his lungs, no indicator that he needed oxygen.</p><p>He glanced languidly down and smiled at the site of Junhee, bathed in red and white, the fabric of his clothes pillowing in the water. Almost like it was water itself, too.</p><p>They had always been together. Or maybe they had just woken up for the first time. It felt the same to him, in this eternal land. There was no existence where they were separate, where they were apart.</p><p>Junhee reached towards him, the thin red string connecting their hands becoming slack as they closed the distance. They connected, and everything was okay. They would be together forever.</p><p>Something tugged behind Yuchan’s navel. But that would come later.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. remembered</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Open your eyes.” </p><p>Yuchan heard that thin, watery voice that often woke him from his dreams before his eyes slipped open in the dawnlight of his room. Whether he had heard that voice in a movie as a young child, or it was a strange mantra that he had picked up from <em>somebody</em>, he had always wondered but he didn’t know.</p><p>But now that he was in college, the voice (and the dreams) came more frequently, more vivid than ever before. He chalked it up to the stress of being in a newfound place, and having to take responsibility for himself for the first time as an adult. </p><p>He supposed that opening his eyes would always be the first step.</p><p>He couldn’t shake how vividly the face of his floating companion in his dreams appeared these nights, especially last night. This face he remembered like the back of his hand. Had he seen someone handsome at orientation, and was now putting their face on his ethereal partner in that watery dreamworld? </p><p>He couldn’t remember, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that that face hadn’t come from this world.</p><p>Yuchan shook himself out of his reverie, willing himself to get up and get dressed. It had been a little over a month since the beginning of his first semester as a college student. His full schedule of classes kept him busy, though he didn’t consider the introductory material to be particularly difficult.</p><p>What challenged him the most was his inability to stay asleep. He kept dreaming of that underwater world every night since his first night in his dorm. It wasn’t unpleasant, but he would always be woken up by that ethereal voice and a falling, tugging sensation deep in the pit of his stomach. </p><p>What was supposed to be the start of an exciting new adventure, meeting new friends and new academic challenges was tainted by his inability to sleep.</p><p>He had started to lose weight, the bags under his eyes noticeable and gray. A part of Yuchan wished that he could just stay in that ocean of his dreams forever instead.</p><p>The morning trudged by, Yuchan struggling to focus through the dull ache in his head. He followed his usual routine of taking lunch from the cafeteria to the courtyard outside, preferring the quiet air to the loud drumming and chattering of the students inside who were more rested than him and able to function like normal college students.</p><p>Instead of reviewing the notes he had pulled out to study while he ate, Yuchan leaned back against the tree he had sat under, allowing himself to enjoy the rare peace for just another moment. If he didn’t focus too hard, the gentle caress of the breeze around him sort of felt like that water …</p><p>“Hey, your notes are flying away … ” The voice seemed to shimmer through the air.</p><p>“Hey! Are you okay?” A hand grabbed at Yuchan’s shoulder, and suddenly he was plummeting, hurtling through space as an overwhelming force pulled at his very core.</p><p>The world spun around him, he was being lifted out of that water. Everything darkened, and Yuchan gasped, his head lolling to the side with dizziness. He found himself face-to-face with the very thing that must have pulled him out. </p><p>That face of eternal beauty, of a thousand years of despair and death, the grim reaper was looking back at him and Yuchan <em>remembered</em>. </p><p>“Y … You!” Yuchan spluttered, his hands tugging at the one that had grabbed his shoulder, pulling it tightly towards him.</p><p>Donghun gasped with utter shock. Yuchan’s breathing quickened, and he looked around them, as if suddenly lost.</p><p>“Where are we? What did you do?!” he asked, voice near hysterics.</p><p>“Yuchan! Sh, it’s okay, Yuchan. I’m - I’m here.” Donghun pried Yuchan’s fingers open, the young boy clenching them unconsciously in fear. He pulled Yuchan into a hug, the movement less comforting and more a desperate attempt to contain the boy.</p><p>“We’re dead. We’re dead … ” Yuchan moaned, and began to shake in Donghun’s grasp.</p><p>“Shh, no, no, we’re not. I … Yuchan. Look at me. Yuchan!” Donghun pulled away a few inches, hands on Yuchan’s shoulders to steady him and force him to look into Donghun’s eyes.</p><p>“It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re not dead.” And it was true. The courtyard was perfectly intact. Donghun was not in black hanbok. </p><p>Yuchan could remember that he had lived 19 years on this earth and that he was currently attending his first year of college as a political science major; but he also remembered a life <em>from a millenia ago</em>, when he had served a feudal lord and had died in an attempt to rectify a grave mistake.</p><p>“Donghun … Donghun, what’s going on?! Did you come for me?” Tears quickly formed and fell down Yuchan’s face. He scrunched his eyes shut, his mind suddenly feeling very heavy and very <em>old</em>.</p><p>“No! No, I … I don’t know what’s going on. I just - I just remembered who we once were. That’s what just happened, right? I touched you, and - and we … Oh, god.” Donghun pulled away, his hands coming up to his face. </p><p>Yuchan whimpered, and he suddenly knew.</p><p>The dreams, the memories, the utter longing that he had been carrying with him suddenly all made sense. For he had lived another life long ago, had lost the most precious thing in his heart. </p><p>He had chosen death, was given another glimpse of his long-lost love in that in-between world before being reborn.</p><p>He could no longer feel his body as he started to dissociate. He could not comprehend the fact that he had bridged the gap between life and death and rebirth and <em>remembered</em>.</p><p>Donghun wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, standing back up with unsteady feet. He bent over to throw Yuchan’s belongings back into his backpack, though Yuchan for the life of him could not understand why that would matter at the moment, before extending his hand to the younger boy.</p><p>“We can’t stay here. Let’s - … let’s just go.” Donghun looked at him earnestly and Yuchan found his legs pushing himself up though he could barely register the movement.</p><p>Donghun pulled his arm before settling on holding his hand, less awkward than the sight of him dragging the younger boy by the sleeve. His hand felt cold and Yuchan could not erase the image of looking into those sad eyes, that red thread that intertwined them, the last things he had seen before he died.</p><p>Yuchan felt like he might slip away forever if Donghun let go.</p><p>Donghun led him to the edge of campus where the upperclassmen housing stood, this fact popping up into Yuchan’s head and startling him, as if it came from outside himself, someone he forgot he was familiar with. </p><p>They climbed the outdoor staircase to the top floor, Donghun leading him to one of the apartments there.</p><p>They were finally inside, the room quiet and brightly lit. Yuchan might have considered it inviting, with its natural lighting and indoor plants, had he not been reliving the throes of death in his mind at that very moment. </p><p>Donghun set Yuchan’s bag down on the counter before walking forward into the room. He began to pace.</p><p>“I guess this means we were reborn,” Donghun finally said, breaking the heavy silence that pervaded between the two of them. </p><p>Yuchan nodded weakly.</p><p>“Are we … Do you … ? What … what’s your name in this life?” Donghun stumbled over what question to ask, finally settling on the simplest one, his slightly perturbed and anxious expression doing nothing to quiet the tumult in Yuchan’s heart.</p><p>“It’s still Yuchan,” he whispered in response. Donghun stopped pacing, his eyes steadying on Yuchan.</p><p>“And mine is still Donghun … Are you with … ? Did you find him? Did you find Junhee?” Yuchan felt his knees collapse under him from where he still stood in the entryway, Donghun rushing forwards to pull him back up and onto the living room couch. </p><p>Yuchan began to sob and Donghun took him into his shoulder.</p><p>They rocked for a few moments, Donghun doing his best to soothe the younger boy. After a little while, Yuchan pulled away slightly.</p><p>“All … all my life, of <em>this</em> life, I’ve had this dream. I was dreaming of the place that I … that I went to after I passed on. Lord Junhee was there. We were finally together at last. But the dream never lasts for long, I always wake up in the middle of it.” </p><p>Donghun said nothing, listening intently.</p><p>“I can’t … I don’t want to keep going on without him. I failed him, and he still haunts me. But, I’ve lived this long, and he’s never shown up in this life. What if … Donghun, what if I can’t find him?” Yuchan’s voice broke, shaking into silence as Donghun pulled him back into his arms.</p><p>“You’ll find him, Yuchan, I promise. After all, we found each other, didn’t we? Maybe … maybe he’s at this school. Maybe we all are.” Yuchan sniffled.</p><p>“What year are you?” Yuchan asked.</p><p>“Me? I’m … this is my last year.”</p><p>“And you haven’t seen any of the others?”</p><p>“ … No, I … I don’t think so. But that doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything. Maybe it just took each other finding us first, for some reason. Don’t lose hope, Yuchan.”</p><p>“Donghun, I’m so scared. I can’t go through that again. I can’t lose him again.”</p><p>“Shh, it’s okay. This is a lot to process, we need to take this one step at a time. You should rest, I’ll make us tea.” </p><p>Donghun stood up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen.</p><p>The initial shock of getting his memories back from a lifetime ago <em>was</em> starting to wear off bit by bit, feeling coming back into Yuchan’s bones. </p><p>Images of his parents in this life, of all the friendships and experiences he had made through school were still vivid and real.</p><p>But just as real was his identity as a member of a clan of warriors, the nights spent keeping watchful guard over the person he loved most in the world. </p><p>How happy he had been to serve, how kindly Junhee had treated him. </p><p>The feel of rich silk on his skin.</p><p>But also what it felt like to watch his master die in front of him, his death feeling like a thousand crushing blows to his heart. </p><p>The snow soaking through his shoes, his frostbitten toes. </p><p>The suppressive heat of Sehyoon’s hut, his throat crushed inside that demonic grip. </p><p>The cold, still air of that place on the precipice of death.</p><p>Yuchan trembled with the weight of his life doubling. He felt a hand on his back as Donghun handed him a steaming cup of tea.</p><p>“Don’t think too much. You don’t have to figure it all out right now. And now you have me, and I will do my best to help you.”</p><p>They drank tea together, neither of them thinking of returning to class or considering themselves in any condition to do so. Donghun asked after his life, his modern life, in the way that college acquaintances normally did. </p><p>Donghun was a psychology major, as dedicated to wanting to understand and help others as he had been in his last life. It comforted Yuchan somewhat, to remind himself that the life he was living now still had meaning and depth to it.</p><p>That he was not defined only by snow and death.</p><p>“Do you remember everything, Donghun? From when you were alive?” Yuchan asked after they had been talking for some time. </p><p>Donghun sighed, looking out at the already darkening sky outside.</p><p>“Yeah. I lived a really quiet life for more than twenty years in the same village I was born in. It was a good life, but I was able to see ghosts. It made things complicated, and I always felt like I had a closer relationship to death than to the life around me.</p><p>“When I died, I didn’t pass on. At first, I didn’t understand what was happening. But then, I realized I could help other spirits who had trouble making it to the other side. So … I did that.”</p><p>“But … but didn’t you say you did that for a thousand years?”</p><p>“Yes. But, time passes quickly if you’re not human. It didn’t feel that long.” Yuchan considered this all with wonder, unable to fathom that this college senior once roamed the earth as a spirit for an eon.</p><p>It could only have been immensely lonely.</p><p>“Do you still have any … powers? You know, in this life,” Yuchan asked tentatively. </p><p>Donghun cocked his head curiously.</p><p>“I’m pretty sure I saw ghosts as a kid. But not anymore. So no, it’s not like I can communicate with spirits or anything. Well, I haven’t tried.” </p><p>Had Yuchan heard this coming from anyone else before today,  he would have considered them insane. But, now he remembered what magic really did exist in the world.</p><p>Donghun insisted that Yuchan stay the night as the senior lived by himself and the boy was still visibly shaken after everything that had transpired within a few short hours. </p><p>They made the couch as comfortable as possible (Yuchan refusing to kick Donghun out of his bed when the senior offered), when he suddenly found a cloud of white at his feet.</p><p>“This is my cat, Hae! She must have been hiding all this time. Hae, this is Yuchan - ” As Yuchan stooped down to pet Hae, the cat shot away from him, back into the bedroom.</p><p>“Ah, sorry, Channie. She usually likes people, I don’t know why she did that.” They laughed mildly.</p><p>They passed the evening quietly, Yuchan suddenly exhausted, picking at the take-out Donghun ordered for them. He slumped over on the couch cushions, sleep finally overtaking him. Donghun cleared away his food and draped a blanket over him.</p><p>“Goodnight, Channie. Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” Donghun’s breath ghosted over him, and then he was asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. come hell and high water</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuchan awoke with a start, and couldn’t remember where he was.</p><p>His heart pounding in his chest, he attempted to register the room around him. Moonlight streamed through the window - it must have been the middle of the night. He was here, in Donghun’s apartment. An acquaintance he had made a lifetime ago, and whom he had just found again in this life.</p><p>Yuchan sighed, the tightness and fear in his chest unfurling slightly. He felt his body relax a little more, waking up after a few hours of deep, dreamless sleep.</p><p>Wait.</p><p>Yuchan sat upright, lost in thought. He could not remember the last night he hadn’t dreamed of that place, that other world. He felt rested, more so than he had in ages, but he had become accustomed to seeing Junhee every night for more than a month. Even though it disrupted his sleep, to suddenly not see that face alarmed him, as if the memory of the man might start to slip away.</p><p>Yuchan turned his head at the sound of something coming from the other room. Crying? The noises quickly grew louder, painful, Donghun wailing as Yuchan bolted off the couch, flinging the bedroom door open.</p><p>Hae stood just in front of the door, fur on end and hissing. Yuchan almost stumbled backwards in fright, realizing something was utterly, utterly wrong.</p><p>Donghun thrashed and writhed in his bedsheets and Yuchan forced himself closer.</p><p>“DONGHUN! Wake up! WAKE UP!” Yuchan grabbed Donghun’s arms, but they thrashed out of his grip.</p><p>He moved to shake his shoulders, and Donghun gasped, his eyes fluttering open as he swatted Yuchan’s hands away.</p><p>Yuchan backed away, breathing almost as fast as Donghun. His hands were moist where they had touched him, the elder drenched in sweat. Donghun groaned, sitting up. Hae had disappeared again.</p><p>“What’s going on?!” Yuchan asked, holding his hands up as if he expected Donghun to leap after him. Donghun made another pained noise as he inspected himself, throwing the wet sheets off of him. He slid off the bed and onto the floor before planting both of his hands down, his head sinking.</p><p>It was a few moments before Yuchan realized he was crying.</p><p>“Donghun! You’re scaring me! What happened?!” Yuchan knelt down, pushing Donghun up so he sat against the bed. </p><p>“Something’s coming! I don’t … I don’t know … ” Donghun pulled his knees up, hugging his chest. Yuchan sunk down onto the floor with him.</p><p>“What are you saying? What’s coming?” Donghun continued gasping for air, shaking his head.</p><p>“The gwisin … the gwisin that possessed Sehyoon.”</p><p>Gwisin. A spirit. Possession.</p><p>“No … no.” Yuchan scrambled backwards as if he expected those pupil-less eyes to replace Donghun’s own. Fear knotted tight and cold in his stomach, bile rising in his throat.</p><p>Donghun crawled forwards before lunging out of the doorway. Seconds later, Yuchan heard him retching into the toilet.</p><p>Yuchan curled into himself, back pressed to the corner of the room as Sehyoon’s contorted, possessed face appeared in his mind, the eyes white and lifeless. </p><p>No, no, this could not be happening. He could not fight again in this life. Have everything be taken away <em>again</em>.</p><p>It was minutes before Donghun came out of the bathroom, breaths heavy and stuttered. He found Yuchan still in the corner, head tucked into the crook of his elbow. </p><p>Donghun took off and threw his ruined shirt in one corner of the room, opting for a hoodie he pulled out of a dresser drawer. He drew Yuchan in his arms before picking up his upper half, Yuchan slumping against him meekly as they stood. They stumbled through the apartment, Donghun adjusting his grip so he could slide the glass door to the balcony open.</p><p>The humid but cooler night air breathed a little life into them. Donghun set Yuchan down on the patio chair before going back inside briefly. He returned with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, sliding the door closed behind him.</p><p>Donghun smoked, looking out at the grounds below, the scent of the tobacco strong but grounding for the both of them. With weak knees, Yuchan got up to join Donghun where he leaned against the railing. A large tree stood behind the apartment, and Yuchan could make out the edge of campus and the city streets beyond. There was no one in sight, and it was quiet save for the slight rustle of leaves in the wind.</p><p>“What did you see? In your dream,” Yuchan finally said. Donghun flicked his cigarette, gathering himself before answering.</p><p>“When we were in Arirang Pass ... I was trying to hold back the things attracted by Sehyoon’s ritual. In that other world, something rushed past me. A … well, it is technically gwisin - a human spirit with a strong attachment to life. But it’s been corrupted, haunts and preys upon weak souls. It possessed Sehyoon.” Yuchan leaned over the railing, gazing down at the ground far below, feeling as if he was falling the longer he looked.</p><p>“I saw it again, I felt it. It spoke to me, and … and it made it clear that it’s come back. That it remembers us after all this time.” Donghun sighed, his voice wet as if on the verge of tears.</p><p>“What does it want? Was it … waiting for us?”</p><p>“My guess - because I can only guess - is that something about the connection all five of us share is appealing to it. Usually souls with purpose, that are loved aren’t easy targets for these types of monsters. But we made ourselves vulnerable that night. Junhee’s soul wasn’t ready to leave without you. And in that state, between life and death, he had become a target. You and Sehyoon became targets, too, because of that spell.” </p><p>Donghun paused to clear his throat. </p><p>“It was … it was irresponsible of me to let Sehyoon do it there. I wasn’t sure that Junhee’s soul could withstand moving the body from the place he had died, and we didn’t have much time. But … maybe there was more I could have done.”</p><p>Yuchan moved his hand to squeeze Donghun’s shoulder, an attempt to lend him strength, though Yuchan wasn’t sure where he could find it within himself. </p><p>“I forgive you, Donghun.” Donghun looked incredulously up at Yuchan, a broken expression on his face. He quickly looked back down at his hands, fighting the tears in his eyes. He fumbled for another cigarette instead of responding, his first discarded in the ashtray.</p><p>“But, that doesn’t explain why it wants us now though, does it? I mean … we don’t need to resurrect anyone now, right?” Yuchan’s voice took on a hint of desperation at the thought of having to relive that nightmare again. Donghun shook his head slowly.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I don’t know. Maybe it thinks we’re likely to do something like that again - sees something in us. We just don’t know what it’s planning.”</p><p>“So … what do we do now?” Yuchan asked.</p><p>“ … I think we need to find the rest of them. I can’t shake the feeling that we’re in danger.” </p><p>Though he was expecting the answer, Yuchan made a noise of frustration, his hands coming up to drag through his hair.</p><p>“It’s a big school. You’ve already been here for three years and you don’t remember seeing them … ” Yuchan trailed off, Donghun’s silence making it clear he couldn’t deny that discouraging reality.</p><p>“We can only take this one step at a time. But … I promise, we will find them.” Yuchan searched his face, skeptical that the older boy could offer so much sincerity. </p><p>But his expression was resolute, though frightened. Yuchan realized he was not the only one carrying pain and guilt from his past life.</p><p>Yuchan reached his hand out, his fingers gesturing towards Donghun’s lit cigarette, the senior hesitating slightly before handing it to him. Yuchan took a quick inhale before coughing the smoke back up, his other hand coming up to cover his mouth as Donghun took it back.</p><p>“It’s not a good habit. Just something to steady my nerves,” Donghun said, the hint of an amused smile on his face. </p><p>By the time they went back inside, the sky had lightened to the gray of pre-dawn, and Yuchan groaned at the thought of having to go to class. He gave Donghun a desperate look, but Donghun spoke before the younger could say anything.</p><p>“No, no, don’t even try. I’m sure you’d love to hang out and be depressed together in my apartment, but you have to go to class. You can’t stop living your life - this life that we have now.” Yuchan turned away, sullen and defeated.</p><p>“Besides, you can start looking for signs of the other three.” </p><p>Yuchan knew he was right. There was nothing he could do if he stayed inside, and it was more likely to drive him deranged and desperate.</p><p>Yuchan took down Donghun’s number and helped him change his bedsheets, the older thanking him and hopping in the shower before Yuchan left the apartment.</p><p>As he was still in the same clothes as the day before, Yuchan made the long trek to the other side of campus to his dorm. </p><p>It felt good to shower and freshen up, and Yuchan admitted that he did feel more rested than he had been for some time. Though he hadn’t slept all the way through the night, a few hours of dreamless slumber had made a difference.</p><p>He made sure he had everything he needed before heading out the door once again. Despite the nagging feeling in his stomach and worry about past nightmares coming to haunt him, he felt a small strength bud inside of him. Donghun’s companionship was no small comfort.</p><p>Come hell and high water,  he would not be alone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. get him back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day, then weeks passed by peaceably, but with no sign of Junhee, Sehyoon, or Byeongkwan.</p><p>Yuchan had abandoned his dorm for the most part, moving half his stuff to Donghun’s after seeing how the senior’s face grew more pale and sickly with each night he spent alone, wracked with terror. The nightmares were never as vivid as they had been that first, frightening time, but it was clear Donghun was bearing the brunt of the awakening of their past memories, his sleep haunted and tainted.</p><p>It abated somewhat once Yuchan had a more permanent presence in the apartment, having the ability and energy to wake Donghun up before he became overwhelmed. Hae began to grow more accustomed to Yuchan, too, though he still felt wary whenever he found her large eyes searching him, as if she could see spirits clinging to his back.</p><p>But, the reality was that they had discovered no more useful information after that first night. The two had attempted to look up the other three on social media, but they either didn’t have public profiles or used nicknames, their searches coming up with nothing.</p><p>Even though Yuchan now had the energy to stay afloat and wakeful in his classes, he often found himself lost in reverie. Sometimes it was happy, reveling in the peace his servitude and devotion had brought him. Sometimes it was all Yuchan could do not to have a panic attack in class, invisible hands constricting his throat.</p><p>Autumn had finally chilled the air, and still Yuchan and Donghun had had no luck. They studied together for midterm examinations, their individual friend groups more distant now that they had more to relate to each other.</p><p>Donghun stretched his legs, having finally finished his readings for class, Yuchan and him nestled in armchairs in one of the student cafes. Donghun, with amusement and mild concern, realized Yuchan was already asleep, his head hanging to the side with his notebook still in his lap.</p><p>Donghun shook the younger boy lightly awake.</p><p>“Channie. Come on. Let’s go back.” Yuchan blearily looked up at Donghun, the senior’s hand coming up to ruffle his hair.</p><p>They packed their things and headed into the evening, each day darkening faster than the last. It was already chilly, but they picked a longer path back to Donghun’s apartment, crossing a large field on one side of the campus. A stage had been erected in the grass, some kind of public performance. Music blared from speakers and students dressed in costume flit about on stage, singing and dancing.</p><p>Donghun and Yuchan stopped to watch from afar. The music paused, dipping quietly before taking on a dramatic turn. The characters mostly cleared the stage to make way for a spry boy, who leapt through the lines of performers, wearing a red mask.</p><p>Yuchan felt an all-too familiar rush, an acceleration of his stomach even though he hadn’t moved an inch. He grabbed Donghun’s shoulder, turning him so that they faced each other, Yuchan practically choking on his next inhalation.</p><p>“I-it’s him!” Yuchan cried, and Donghun’s eyes widened before he took Yuchan’s hand, walking them quickly towards the stage.</p><p>Yuchan could not believe his eyes, the mask a perfect replica of the one Byeongkwan had worn all those years ago. Painted red with fiery, bulging eyes and protruding horns and fangs. Byeongkwan seemed to play the part of a dokkebi in his last life and this one.</p><p>Byeongkwan, because Yuchan was certain it was him, seemed to be reenacting a fight scene, other characters weaving between each other, centered around Byeongkwan. The flowing choreography was not dissimilar enough to distance itself from the memory of Byeongkwan’s huge form hurling itself through the snow, wrestling with a real monster.</p><p>The two stood mesmerized by the scene unfolding before them, the characters on stage surrounding Byeongkwan’s lithe and small form. He was dressed in white hanbok with long sleeves and torso swathed in red bandages, the visible skin of his hands just as pale with nails painted red. In the scene, it seemed he was the main adversary, and was eventually vanquished in a flourish of movement by another character’s sword.</p><p>The ensemble gathered to the front to bow, signaling the end of the performance, and the music was lowered to a background noise level while the small crowd of students watching applauded politely.</p><p>Byeongkwan stood front and center and Yuchan held his breath as he moved to remove that frightening face, the mask this time held by a strap rather than melding and becoming part of his skin.</p><p>Yuchan shuddered as cat-like eyes were revealed, Byeongkwan’s gaze directed at him, almost piercing him. Yuchan’s own eyes widened for a moment, feeling as though a spark flew out between them.</p><p>But the other boy’s eyes simply roamed around the crowd as a microphone was passed. Another one of the students thanked the audience.</p><p>“The fall Performing Arts Department showcase is tomorrow night! We will be performing this scene among others from our upcoming musical. There will also be other performances by student singers and musicians, so please come support us! It will be at the PAC and is free for students!” </p><p>Yuchan pushed forward, letting go of Donghun’s hand, who pressed behind him hurriedly.</p><p>He then realized Yuchan was making his way towards someone walking among the crowd, passing out pamphlets. Donghun searched the stage to see if he could get a glimpse of Byeongkwan’s face up close, but the cast had already dispersed and started to pack up. </p><p>Few students lingered in the cold as Donghun hunched next to Yuchan to take a look at the program. Yuchan flipped through it anxiously, his hands trembling slightly.</p><p>He found the page detailing the musical performance and silently cheered at the sight of the cast list, a full list of names. His finger scrolled down and settled on one name.</p><p>“It’s him. It’s really him. It’s Byeongkwan … ” Yuchan trailed off. </p><p>Donghun looked at him with a worried expression, the sudden turn of events difficult to keep up with. A still from a dress rehearsal was displayed prominently on one of the pages, Byeongkwan front and center with his masked face challenging the camera.</p><p>“Donghun, we have to talk to him,” Yuchan said suddenly, his eyes pleading. Donghun immediately shook his head, taking the pamphlet from Yuchan.</p><p>“No, not now, we can’t. There’s too many people around, and we don’t know what could happen.”</p><p>“But - ”</p><p>“No, Yuchan, I’m serious. Let’s go back, we can talk about it inside.” Yuchan complied, their elbows interlocked as they walked hurriedly the rest of the way there, Yuchan’s grip on the pamphlet almost crushing. </p><p>The wind began to pick up, the chill biting at their naked cheeks and necks, but Yuchan felt none of it.</p><p>As soon as they walked inside, Yuchan grabbed and opened his laptop from his bag, Donghun eventually taking his shoulders and guiding him to sit on the couch when he realized Yuchan had not planned to move.</p><p>Yuchan browsed to the theater department’s social page, which had been advertised in the pamphlet. After some searching, he finally found a photo tagged with others’ profiles and clicked on Byeongkwan’s masked face.</p><p>As he expected, the profile did not have his real name, and Yuchan was unable to see any of his posts behind the privacy wall. He briefly considered requesting to follow him, though he didn’t think it was a good idea if Byeongkwan had no idea who he was yet. </p><p>The only information displayed was that he was a sophomore and a performing arts major. </p><p>Yuchan squinted at the minimized profile picture next, attempting to make out the small photo. His breath caught in his throat as he recognized two tufts of hair pinned up, Byeongkwan’s face bright and bubbly with a red coat on. </p><p>It was exactly like finding someone who had come back from the dead.</p><p>Yuchan backed out of the page, wondering how likely it was that Junhee and Sehyoon might also be found in the same department, when Donghun suddenly gasped.</p><p>Yuchan looked up to find Donghun holding the pamphlet, the rest of which he had been reading in between glances at the computer screen. </p><p>“Yuchan, look.” Donghun held it out for him to read.</p><p>It took a moment to find what Donghun wanted him to look at. The open page was a collage of pictures, too small to make out the details of the individual faces, but it was evident they were concert musicians - a piano, string and wind instruments in various photographs. The adjoining page was a list of names of what Yuchan assumed to be the ones who would be performing tomorrow night.</p><p>His eyes scanned back and forth, nothing catching his eye, until -</p><p>
  <em>Piano. Park Junhee.</em>
</p><p>Yuchan tipped forward, the laptop almost slipping out of his lap before he caught it, face bent towards the page.</p><p>Park Junhee.</p><p>He looked up at Donghun, and the shocked expression they shared told Yuchan his eyes weren’t deceiving him. He looked back at the page and examined the small photo of the man at the piano. </p><p>It was difficult to be sure, but the figure was tall with a mop of black hair. His frame fit Junhee’s, but it really could have been anyone.</p><p>Yuchan breathed sharply before moving back to the computer, looking for the performing arts department page that the theater profile had been nested under. He navigated the maze of links before finding one labeled classical music. </p><p>Nothing jumped out immediately, the banner a scene from a concert, but there was no piano on stage and the faces were small and indistinct. He opened the page of photo albums and was greeted by a large record of concerts going back years. </p><p>Yuchan moved the mouse back and forth indecisively before Donghun helpfully suggested one that seemed to be from last year’s showcase.</p><p>The photo of the man at the piano jumped out at Yuchan immediately, being one of the first ones. He hurriedly clicked on it. The figure was thin, elegant, familiar though his face was hidden in the darkness of stage lighting.</p><p>
  <em>Performer: Park Junhee. Sophomore. </em>
</p><p>Yuchan held his breath, clicking on the tagged profile.</p><p>“Donghun … Donghun, it’s him.” Yuchan’s fists clenched as he trembled, his breath hiccuping as he looked at the smiling face on the profile, not daring to blink. </p><p>Donghun pulled him closer, his arm wrapping him tightly.</p><p>It was just a simple cropped photo of Junhee in performance attire, white button-up and black pants, but it was the most beautiful man Yuchan had ever seen - would ever see. He had found him.</p><p>Yuchan scrolled through the public feed. The first post was an online article from the school newspaper, which had evidently written a profile on Junhee at the end of his sophomore year that spring, commending him for a masterful performance.</p><p>
  <em>Junhee plans to complete his degree in performing arts in two years, after which he would like to compose both classical and pop music.</em>
</p><p>Yuchan continued to scroll, and a video of one of Junhee’s performances had automatically begun to play. Yuchan didn’t have much of an ear for classical piano, but the song was mesmerizing, Junhee’s playing delicate and effortless.</p><p>This was surely his lord; poised, elegant, refined, dignified even after a thousand years. Yuchan could not help himself and began to cry, Donghun wrapping him fully in a hug, hand coming up to stroke his hair. Tears streamed down his face, too.</p><p>They sat for an hour, Yuchan playing one video after another, consuming as much of Junhee as he possibly could through the computer. The page seemed to showcase Junhee’s performances, and there was no hint of a personal profile, but Yuchan was as content as he could be. </p><p>It felt as though life was beginning to click into place. He knew who his soulmate was, and he had found him.</p><p>Donghun eventually got up, not stopping Yuchan in his almost-obsessive fixation on the screen, but he did urge him to take at least a few bites of dinner. Yuchan did not taste the food, wouldn’t even have been able to recall what it was. </p><p>Midnight finally came, Donghun giving into exhaustion and making his way for the bedroom. Yuchan had run out of new videos a few hours ago and had simply begun to replay what was on the page.</p><p>“Channie. Get some sleep, okay?” Donghun prompted gently, one foot still in the hallway. </p><p>Yuchan gave a nod but did not look up. Donghun sighed, but let him be, retreating into his bedroom. As usual, he kept the door open.</p><p>Hae pattered out of the bedroom, and jumped up to join Yuchan on the couch. For once, her presence was comforting, like that of an old friend.</p><p>“Hae, look … This is … this is Park Junhee. He was my master in my last life. He was so kind to me, and I loved him more than anything else. More than I loved myself. But I made a mistake, and I lost him.” Yuchan’s hand came to stroke Hae’s fur, the cat pressing back into his touch reassuringly. </p><p>“I’m going to make up for my mistakes and get him back. I … I promise.” Quiet tears formed and fell down Yuchan’s face. </p><p>He was talking to Hae, but he was really promising himself. Promising Junhee. Promising everything and everyone that he would pledge his life and soul just to get Junhee back. Even if it took a hundred lifetimes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. failed reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donghun awoke early, dread heavy in his gut. Last night’s dreams hadn’t quite been nightmares, but in that other semi-lucid space he always felt the irresistible sense of something watching him. He would turn around and find nothing there, and the haunting feeling would wake him up.</p><p>He could not remember how many times this had happened throughout the night, but he woke up more tired than when he had gone to bed. Donghun forced himself up, the room oppressive and lonely.</p><p>Yuchan was fast asleep on the couch, the laptop still open but powerless with its battery drained, the keyboard wedged between him and the cushion. Donghun carefully extracted it, plugging it in for Yuchan. </p><p>He quietly moved out to the balcony, and not before grabbing his cigarettes from where they sat on the kitchen counter.</p><p>He smoked, the nicotine helping to calm his mind slightly. He knew the constant unease in his dreams was an indication that they were getting close. That their reunion with Junhee (and the others) was dangerous, and something was bound to happen.</p><p>If only Donghun could predict what. The gwisin’s pursuit of them didn’t entirely make sense. Donghun no longer had a direct connection to the other world, and he assumed it was safe to say the remaining three didn’t either. </p><p>He knew the gwisin could only strike, could only feed if they exposed themselves to the other side, but Donghun wasn’t sure how this would happen, or why the gwisin thought it would happen.</p><p>Not even in sleep were they weak enough for their souls to be possessed, though the gwisin could haunt and create nightmares as much as it liked. It just didn’t make sense. That the monstrous spirit seemed to not only be waiting for, but <em>predicting</em> an opportune moment was worrisome. </p><p>Donghun didn’t want to think of the reasons why he or the others would need to act as a medium to the spirit world.</p><p>He went back inside, still lost in contemplation as he showered and Yuchan continued to sleep. He would wait until Yuchan woke to eat, and did his best to organize the notes he needed to study for the examinations that continued to loom over his head. This proved near-impossible, Donghun spending most of the morning daydreaming and considering different scenarios instead of studying.</p><p>Noon finally came, Yuchan waking up with a start. Donghun knew with certainty it was because the boy had stayed up late watching more of Junhee’s videos, though he couldn’t blame him.</p><p>Yuchan’s expression changed instantly to one of terror, and Donghun realized something was wrong.</p><p>“Where am I? Where am I?!” Donghun rushed over, Yuchan standing up and looking around wildly.</p><p>Donghun made to grab his hands, but Yuchan shoved him away.</p><p>“Where’s Lord Junhee?! Where am I?!” Donghun knelt, feeling like his fears were suddenly coming true.</p><p>“Yuchan. Yuchan! It’s okay, it’s okay. This is my apartment, remember?” Donghun stretched out a hand and Yuchan focused on him, but he still did not understand.</p><p>“We’re … we’re in school, remember? We’re going to that performance showcase tonight. Yuchan, please, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Donghun continued to soothe, realizing his words were just as much for himself as they were for Yuchan.</p><p>Yuchan’s breathing started to slow before he sank to the ground, too.</p><p>“Are you okay?” </p><p>Yuchan shuddered. </p><p>“I spent all night dreaming of my … my past life. I thought … I forgot where I was.” They sat in silence, Donghun suddenly very sad.</p><p>Yuchan brought a hand to his face, rubbing at his cheeks to wake himself up and blot away the tears.</p><p>“I’m okay. I’m okay. What time is it?”</p><p>“It’s noon. I’ll make us some food, okay?” Donghun waited for Yuchan to nod before getting up. </p><p>Yuchan groaned as reality came back to ground him, Donghun giving him another worried glance as he started on a late breakfast.</p><p>Donghun decided against telling the younger boy about his strange half-dreams last night. He knew it would only worry Yuchan.</p><p>Yuchan showered, changing into clothes from a pile he had brought over from his dorm. He was suddenly struck by worry of a different sort, of wanting to make a good impression on the master he would be reuniting with tonight. He settled on a simple white button-down and black pants.</p><p>Donghun set down a plate in front of him at the counter and the two of them began to eat in silence, weighed by two different forms of exhaustion.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking about something,” Yuchan finally interjected. </p><p>Donghun made an inquisitive noise.</p><p>“When it … the gwisin. Possessed Sehyoon.” Donghun felt as though a bucket of ice cold water had overturned above him, and he attempted to keep still. </p><p>“It told me something. It said that I was … sacrificing what it meant to be human if I tried to get Junhee back.” </p><p>“ … It’s in a devil’s nature to lie and manipulate in order to get you to do what they want you to do. I wouldn’t believe anything it said."</p><p>“Yeah, I understand that, but … It was saying that the ritual or spell or whatever it was would take part of my soul? That I would never be reborn again. Is there … any truth to that?” </p><p>Donghun pushed his plate away and sighed, thinking. </p><p>Trying to remember the few things he had witnessed that he could compare this to and the thousand-year-old lessons that Sehyoon had given him.</p><p>“It’s true, these types of reincarnation spells, when they actually work, are usually an equal trade. A life for a life or a soul for a soul. But … Junhee’s spirit still inhabited his body, at least partly. Because he didn’t want to move on without you.” </p><p>Yuchan wrung his hands, eyes cast downwards.</p><p>“So, I don’t think it would have come to that. What Sehyoon was trying to do was more like call Junhee’s soul back, and it wouldn’t have been possible if you weren’t there - the only thing Junhee would want to come back to.” </p><p>Yuchan continued to look down, avoiding Donghun’s eyes.</p><p>“Are you … were you worried about that? I’m sorry. We should have … there was so much more we could have done - that <em>I</em> could have done. But, Sehyoon wouldn’t have put you in any more danger than you had to be in … ” Donghun trailed off, feeling as though his words failed to convey what he really meant. </p><p>“No, Donghun, it’s okay. I understand. I didn’t think Sehyoon was trying to deceive me or anything like that. I was just curious. It’s not … I wouldn’t mind making that sacrifice if I had to.” Donghun turned sharply towards him, his brow furrowed.</p><p>“It’s not going to come to that, Yuchan.” Donghun winced at the desperation in his voice, hoping Yuchan wouldn’t realize that he was pleading with him. That he needed Yuchan to believe that, so he could believe it, too. </p><p>Yuchan returned a weak smile.</p><p>“I know, Donghun.” Donghun paused before turning the corners of his mouth briefly, placatingly. He was not convinced, but he would try to remain confident. For the sake of both of them.</p><p>“Do you think he’ll remember me?” Yuchan suddenly asked, and Donghun gave him a quizzical look.</p><p>“What? Of course. All it took was for us to touch. I don’t think that will be a problem.” </p><p>Yuchan looked back down before Donghun reached a hand over, patting his arm.</p><p>“It’s going to be okay. It’ll be great.” </p><p>They passed the rest of the afternoon idly, Yuchan also attempting to study but giving up quickly. Donghun kept taking smoke breaks on the balcony, the only thing he felt could aid his nerves. </p><p>He couldn’t deny he felt the need to steel himself, prepare for the unexpected. Unfortunately, the only thing that seemed to keep his sleep-deprived brain alert seemed to be nicotine.</p><p>Soon, the whole apartment smelled of tobacco, the smell sticking to Donghun’s clothes.</p><p>“Sorry, Hae,” Donghun apologized as she scurried away from his stench. Yuchan made a small noise of amusement.</p><p>“Maybe you should change before you go; we’re going to a theater, right?” Donghun assented, though he wished there was something he could do for the pallor and exhaustion in his face. </p><p>He threw a blazer on over his fresh clothes before considering his junior for a moment and returning to his closet.</p><p>He approached Yuchan with a red, silken thing in his arms, and his junior gave him a skeptical look.</p><p>“Trust me.” </p><p>Yuchan took the kimono jacket, slipping his arms through the wide sleeves. It was slightly embarrassing, but it made him feel elegant, the red making the flush of his cheeks and lips stand out. Donghun’s widened eyes and the blush he tried to conceal confirmed the choice for Yuchan.</p><p>They left the apartment in the early evening, making the short walk to the performing arts center which housed a large theater. It was unexpectedly, already packed, Donghun and Yuchan forced to find seats in a corner, the stage distant and dim.</p><p>Yuchan tried to sit politely through the introduction and first performances, but he couldn’t help his growing impatience. Donghun’s presence wasn’t exactly helping, his self-induced nicotine withdrawal making him fidget, the senior fighting a growing nausea inside of him.</p><p>But then, it was finally Junhee’s turn, and Yuchan felt his vision and breathing tunnel to one point, his nerves suddenly forgotten.</p><p>Junhee entered from one side of the stage, and Yuchan fought the urge to bolt upright and run towards him, even though everything in his body willed him to. Donghun grabbed his hand and squeezed, though he didn’t feel it.</p><p>Though Yuchan was far from the stage and could barely make out his lord’s features, it did little to diminish the absolute shock and wonder Yuchan felt in his presence. </p><p>Junhee played, a song so eternal and sad Yuchan knew this was the sound their soul’s lamentation made. He let the tears fall, uncaring of who saw.</p><p>He was four years old again, pledging his life to protect and look after his best friend, his playmate, the boy that he chased at his heels. </p><p>He was twelve, chest heaving with pride and satisfied exhaustion as Junhee commended him for how well his skills at arms were coming along in the training field.</p><p>He was fourteen again, the warmth of his lord’s arms unbearably hot and enticing as Junhee hugged him under the covers, the two of them trading whispered giggles all night. </p><p>He was fifteen again, fighting back tears as Junhee grieved over the sudden death of his father, the responsibilities and duties of an entire household suddenly thrust upon him.</p><p>He was seventeen again, on his knees pleading for Junhee to listen to him, to stay home, to not attempt to negotiate with a madman crazed for more land and power. </p><p>He was seventeen again, cradling his dead master in his arms, the snowfall swallowing his screams.</p><p>The grace Yuchan had observed Junhee play with in recording was nothing compared to the beauty under Junhee’s command now. When he stopped, Yuchan barely registered the smattering of applause that began before he stood up himself. A portion of the audience stood up with him, cheering, similarly though not as deeply affected by the performance.</p><p>Donghun’s hand came up to soothe along his back, Yuchan trying to manage his tears. The rest of the concert went by in a blur, the instrumental performances transitioning to selected scenes from the musical.</p><p>Yuchan’s attention perked back up as he realized the setting of the story could have been from the land and time they once lived in. It was a beautiful, though somewhat typical love story. </p><p>The protagonist and his female lover attempted to overcome their families’ disapproval of their relationship by running away.  Having nowhere to go, they ran into the mountains where they were quickly overcome by the elements, forced to seek shelter in Arirang Pass. </p><p>Yuchan’s stomach tightened, and he wondered whether the writer had known the legendary place actually existed, its location lost to history.</p><p>The same fight sequence from yesterday was reenacted, Byeongkwan moving even more eloquently on the professional stage. The protagonist bested the dokkebi and the story came to a tragic end as it was revealed the dokkebi was actually a guardian keeping back the most evil of spirits and monsters from overtaking the pass.</p><p>The man and woman perished in the snow. They could only be together in death.</p><p>Yuchan’s stomach twisted itself into knots at the parallels in the story and his reality. He exchanged weary looks with Donghun as the auditorium erupted into applause, the scene and showcase having come to an end.</p><p>They joined the flood of students entering the entry hall, and Yuchan began to panic as he could barely see above the crowd. A few of the musical ensemble trickled through, their costumes standing out, but there was no sign of Byeongkwan or Junhee.</p><p>Donghun urged Yuchan to the corner where they had a slightly improved view of the room packed with students. Yuchan’s eyes scanned quickly, but to no avail.</p><p>They decided to wait, students continuing to filter through the room and eventually leave. It was almost half an hour before the majority of people had left, a few groups still mingling in the hallway.</p><p>Suddenly, a door to the side of the auditorium opened, and a small group of performers exited, chattering amiably amongst themselves. Junhee trailed them and Yuchan gave a start, the only thing holding him back the not insignificant number of people in the hall. </p><p>Before he could worry whether Junhee was about to leave without a trace, the older boy stopped in his tracks, getting the attention of one of his friends and gesturing behind him. He had evidently left something behind, turning around to go back through the door.</p><p>Without taking his eyes off of him, Yuchan walked quickly towards the door, it taking everything he had not to start sprinting.</p><p>Yuchan threw the door open to a narrow hallway lit by fluorescent lights that led backstage, and saw that Junhee was almost at the other end. Before he could turn the corner, Yuchan quickly called.</p><p>“Lor - ah, Junhee!” The anachronistic title almost slipped from Yuchan’s mouth. </p><p>Junhee stopped in his tracks and all breath left Yuchan as Junhee looked at him for the first time in this life.</p><p>His black hair - oh, how it suited him - was mid-length and framed the lines of his face well. <em>Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful</em> rang through Yuchan’s head.</p><p>“Uh, can I help you?” Yuchan stared back, feeling like a fish out of water. </p><p>Junhee gave an awkward, small smile clearly also at a loss for words. He had thrown on a track top over his shirt, a perfect mix of handsome and cool.</p><p>“I, uh. I wanted to tell you I - I really liked your performance!” Yuchan almost yelled, cringing at the uncontrolled volume of his voice in the tight hallway.</p><p>Mercifully, Junhee didn’t spurn him for his unnatural, awkward behavior and instead took a step closer. He gave Yuchan a genuine smile.</p><p>“Thanks! I, uh, I appreciate you coming to tell me that. Have I … do I know you?” Junhee asked politely, his eyebrows drawn in curiosity. </p><p>His eyes trailed over the fabric of Yuchan’s kimono jacket, a little stunned, and back to his face. Yuchan flushed.</p><p>“Um, no, I don’t think so! I’m Kang Yuchan!” Yuchan gave a polite bow of his head, but recognizing the opportunity, he proffered his hand, willing everything he had in him that Junhee would take it.</p><p>Junhee reached for his hand, and Yuchan couldn’t help screwing his eyes shut, bracing himself for another cold plunge, for Junhee’s inevitable shock.</p><p>Instead, nothing happened. Yuchan’s eyes opened. Junhee’s hand was cool against his slightly slick one, giving a polite shake. </p><p>But nothing indicated that a connection happened, that Junhee remembered his past life - no sudden recognition and emotional reunion.</p><p>“I’m Park Junhee. Ah, as you know. Are you sure I haven’t seen you before?” Junhee asked again, his eyes not unkind, but Yuchan’s stomach dropped. </p><p>Mind racing, searching for some explanation, Yuchan suddenly remembered the dreams he had had throughout his life, that had plagued him even more so when he first started the term; how Junhee’s face had materialized even before he remembered who he once was.</p><p>“Maybe - maybe in your dreams?!” Yuchan asked, his voice shrill.</p><p>Junhee’s eyes widened slightly and he blushed before turning his head away and giving a small laugh. Yuchan felt hot horror and embarrassment at the realization that he hadn’t awakened any memories of them before they were reincarnated; that Junhee had instead taken his words for flirtation.</p><p>“I’ve never had anyone say that to me before,” Junhee said, collecting himself remarkably quickly and giving Yuchan a sly smile. </p><p>Yuchan could do nothing but stare back, wishing he would fall through the floor.</p><p>“Uh … There’s a party a bunch of us are going to tonight, in like an hour or two? It’s two blocks from the east gate, on the corner. You should come!” And with that, Junhee turned his heel, and began to walk away from Yuchan.</p><p>“Ah, o - okay!” Yuchan called. Junhee turned slightly, waving at him with another smile, his canines flashing - a familiar sight.</p><p>“I’ll see you there!” And with that, he was gone.</p><p>Donghun’s expression dropped as soon as he saw the shocked listlessness in Yuchan’s face, and that he did not return with Junhee.</p><p>He waited until they were outside to question Yuchan.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“Nothing happened when we touched. He didn’t remember me.”</p><p>“Oh, Yuchan, I’m sor - " </p><p>“But he said he recognized me? So maybe he will later? And he invited me to a party!” Donghun’s expression was a mixture of relief and confusion. Encouraged that his friend hadn’t immediately lost hope and broken down, but just as confused at the turn of events as Yuchan was.</p><p>“A party?”</p><p>“Yeah! In like an hour! Two blocks down from your house, we have to go! We have to figure out what’s going on - ”</p><p>“Yes, we will - Yuchan, stop yelling.” Yuchan gaped, flustered. </p><p>Donghun shook his head, smiling.</p><p>“Yeah, we’ll go, we’ll find him again and figure this out together.” </p><p>They walked to the apartment, Donghun asking Yuchan to relay every moment of their encounter. He shook his head, still just as confused as when they had started talking.</p><p>“I mean, I don’t know what the rules are, but it sounds like he should have remembered. I don’t know what’s so different about us that we remembered immediately. But, you’re right, it sounds encouraging that he said he recognizes you. Maybe he just needs a little prodding.” </p><p>When they got back to the apartment, Donghun threw whatever he could find in the fridge together for a light dinner, Yuchan refusing and saying he couldn’t eat. </p><p>They began their walk into the city an hour later, exiting the school through the gate just beyond Donghun’s building. </p><p>They walked in silence, having exhausted all their ideas regarding the failed reunion less than two hours ago. As they approached the neighborhood street corner where the house was located, they could hear music blaring through speakers.</p><p>Yuchan realized absentmindedly that this would be the first college party he had ever attended. Considering everything that had transpired in the last month, he was much less excited than he might have been had this still been the only life he had ever known.</p><p>Donghun looked a little wary, which didn’t surprise Yuchan. He had already guessed the quiet, unassuming senior preferred small gatherings (or just Hae) to large groups and parties.</p><p>They made their way through the narrow passage of bodies leading to the front door and beyond, most of the faces around them unrecognizable. Most of the guests had already started on their way towards inebriation, and the pair found numerous eyes lingering on them. Yuchan silently cursed himself for not changing out of the red kimono jacket, not realizing it would get this much attention.</p><p>They both turned their heads at a loud, familiar voice and found Byeongkwan at the center of a group of people, some Yuchan recognized from the earlier performance. He seemed boisterous, something that didn’t surprise Yuchan, but he had no idea how he might get close to him.</p><p>Yuchan eventually grabbed a beer from a cooler, more so he could have something to do with his hands rather than because he wanted to get drunk. Donghun refused, saying he wanted to keep a clear head. </p><p>Yuchan had found the slight buzz (quick to come on having not eaten dinner) to be calming, as calming as it could be as he tried to find his way through the throng, looking for that familiar face.</p><p>They eventually found their way to the balcony on the second floor, mercifully empty, and Yuchan groaned as he stepped through the sliding glass door.</p><p>“This is impossible, how are we going to find him?” Donghun hummed apologetically as he fished inside his jacket pocket, already desperate for a cigarette.</p><p>They stood like that for a minute, Yuchan taking another single coughing drag after Donghun, as they tried to purvey the scene inside through the glass. No sign of Junhee.</p><p>The door slid open again, a boy stepping through, a black baseball cap obscuring his face. Yuchan’s heart leapt, and his mind raced to keep up with what his body was responding to.</p><p>“Hey, you guys got another cigarette?” Sehyoon asked.</p><p>Yuchan coughed, his surprised gasp further irritating his lungs. Donghun’s hand dropped from his mouth, lit cigarette almost forgotten. </p><p>“Oh, sorry, was I interrupting something?” Yuchan looked hurriedly at Donghun, whose jaw was still open, before shaking his head. He nudged Donghun, gesturing towards the pack in his pocket, and raised his eyebrows.</p><p>Donghun finally understood, fitting his cigarette back between his lips as he fumbled for the pack, fingers trembling. </p><p>Yuchan looked back incredulously at Sehyoon, the sweet scent of marijuana clinging to his oversized, fluffy wool sweater. The boy patiently, warmly returned his impolite stare with crinkled, slightly bloodshot eyes, and it was all Yuchan could do to tear his gaze away.</p><p>Donghun stepped forward, offering the cigarette.</p><p>“Thanks - ” Sehyoon grabbed for it, and Donghun purposefully jerked his hand forward to brush Sehyoon’s.</p><p>Sehyoon spasmed, dropping the cigarette as he took an involuntary step back. Donghun was suddenly falling, his foot staying planted on the ground instead of stepping forward to stop his momentum, and the two went crashing to the floor. Yuchan could only watch in bewilderment and mild terror.</p><p>The two groaned, the cigarettes rolling away on the balcony floor. Sehyoon scrambled backwards and upright, and he looked between the two of them, his eyes widening with every second, his expression shocked.</p><p>Sehyoon turned himself around to press against the railing and threw up off the side into the bushes below.</p><p>“Oh, shi - ” The glass door was suddenly sliding open again and Byeongkwan hurtled through, the small boy sidling up to Sehyoon and placing a hand on his back.</p><p>“Sehyoon! What happened?” Byeongkwan cast suspicious, worried glances at Donghun, who was still attempting to stand up, and Yuchan, who was gaping uselessly.</p><p>“Dammit, did you smoke too much again?” Byeongkwan asked, rubbing Sehyoon’s back as he heaved, taking a minute to finally collect himself.</p><p>“Come on, come inside,” Byeongkwan commanded as soon as it seemed like Sehyoon was finished. </p><p>Sehyoon threw an arm out, trying to grab at the one pulling his, and shook his head.</p><p>“No, wait - ” Sehyoon threw a desperate look at Donghun and Yuchan, but both were rooted to the spot in shock.</p><p>“No, Sehyoon, come on!” Byeongkwan kept pulling, and Yuchan couldn’t think of anything to say to stop Byeongkwan that wouldn’t seem utterly insane.</p><p>Sehyoon disappeared through the door and into the crowd, casting one last look back before they lost sight of him completely.</p><p>Donghun groaned, his hand coming up to his head.</p><p>“Donghun, are you okay?! What happened?!” </p><p>“Ah … he remembers. He definitely should remember. It felt exactly like it did when we touched. But … but - ”</p><p>“But what?!”</p><p>“It’s here, watching us, Yuchan! I can feel it.” It took a second for Yuchan to understand what he was talking about.</p><p>“Oh. Oh, Donghun. What do we do? Are we in danger?” Yuchan cast a wild look around, as if he would find the ghost and its pale, lifeless eyes watching them. </p><p>Donghun sniffed, continuing to run his hands through his hair.</p><p>“I … let’s go back. It’s not safe. We need to go back and plan, and I need to rest. I feel like I’m dying.” </p><p>Yuchan bit his tongue, his desire to stay and find Sehyoon again, his lingering hope that he might reunite with Junhee tonight almost trumping his regard for his friend.</p><p>But he said that it wasn’t safe, and Yuchan would only listen.</p><p>Yuchan grabbed Donghun’s hand, dragging him through the house. Byeongkwan and Sehyoon had long disappeared. </p><p>The numerous voices and faces around them blurred together into one strange collection of bodies, but nothing seemed to pursue them on their way home.</p><p>Finally back at the apartment, Donghun made straight for the couch, collapsing on it as Yuchan turned on all the lights, making sure the door was locked behind them.</p><p>“Donghun, are you okay?!” Donghun’s breathing was labored, his face sickly, but he nodded.</p><p>“I’m okay. I’m okay. Yuchan, don’t be scared … but the gwisin tried to possess one of us just now. When Sehyoon and I touched.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>“It’s … that process, when we touch and it reawakens our memories. Our souls are vulnerable in that instant, I should have realized … ”</p><p>“Oh, god. What do we do?!” Donghun was silent for a moment, which only served to further frighten Yuchan.</p><p>“Sehyoon would know what to do.”</p><p>“I - I’ll go back out and find him! - ”</p><p>“No! No, Yuchan. I need to sleep. I’m so exhausted. It will be even worse if I don’t get rest. And - and I’m going to have to be selfish, Channie.” Yuchan frowned, the strange, pleading tone in Donghun’s voice alarming him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I need you to watch over me while I sleep, Yuchan. Just for tonight, I need you to stay awake. And - and try to think happy thoughts.” </p><p>Yuchan’s expression only grew increasingly terrorized, Donghun opening his eyes slightly and giving a sympathetic smile.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I can’t explain right now. Just please, stay awake. Stay happy. That’s the most powerful defense we have. I’ll explain everything … later.” Donghun’s voice began to waver, and Yuchan blanched as he realized he was slipping out of consciousness.</p><p>“Donghun? Donghun?!” Yuchan called, but Donghun didn’t respond, already asleep.</p><p>He considered shaking him back awake, but Hae appeared, jumping onto the couch and settling on Donghun’s chest. The look she gave Yuchan was resolute.</p><p>Yuchan backed away, utterly perplexed by the strange instructions Donghun had given him and his determination to immediately fall asleep. </p><p>He tried to recall what Donghun had taught him about souls and what made them vulnerable to possession. Having purpose. Being loved. </p><p>Was that what Donghun meant by staying happy? Was he supposed to direct loving thoughts towards Donghun?</p><p>Yuchan looked around, the apartment suddenly feeling huge and empty now that Donghun was incapacitated. He quickly got up to close the curtains of the door to the balcony, turning on the lights in the bedroom. </p><p>He tried to fight the feelings of growing anxiety as he crept back towards Donghun, looking worriedly at the shadowy corners of the room.</p><p>He propped himself against the couch, Donghun’s slow and steady breathing helping to calm him. He opened his laptop and did the only thing that seemed to make sense, navigating to Junhee’s page and playing his favorite performances.</p><p>The pain of Junhee’s failed remembrance stung, but Yuchan would not give up hope. It terrified him beyond belief that a spirit could remain for centuries, waiting for its chance to strike, but if courage and love was what it took, Yuchan would not back down.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading :) Please feel free to come talk to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/wthnyrslfinstd">Twitter</a>, ask me a question on <a href="https://curiouscat.qa/wthnyrslfinstd">Curious Cat</a>, or check out my <a href="https://wthnyrslfinstd.carrd.co/">Carrd</a>!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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